Sexual Apetite = Zero

Pro’ly there is something wrong with me. The guy I talked with (chatname: Outrigger) was pro’ly right. My psyco state is keeping me from getting a hard on (see previous post). My emo level is way beyond saving. Outrigger was right! I should have a change of heart and of ways. I should stop smoking. I should start living a healthy life.

But how? Tell me, how? Not when all of my friends and most of my officemates smoke. How can I prevent myself from joining them downstairs and puffing the very thing that got us closer?

This is really a hard decision to make. To quit or not to quit. Not only smoking. To quit this emotional stress I chose to burden myself with—Robbie. But how? How can you keep yourself detached from the very love of your life? How can you not want a guy you felt a connection with? How can you not want, no, need him?

Questions, questions and more questions.

Tell me, how? Please…