22 April 2006

Threesome Disaster

So I went into a threesome last night. Well actually it was around 3 in the morning earlier. I met this guy, Lei, from a chat room at IRC and he invited me out. I could say I was horny then so I said yes. Lei and his friend picked me up in a red car just outside our subdivision. We rented an apartelle along Visayas avenue.

So we got naked and started sucking and kissing and sucking but as soon as I remembered Robbie, my libido went down 6th feet under. I could not get myself to have a hard on. So I just let the two fuck each other out, or more appropriately fuck each other in and out. And I just sat there looking at them still naked. As soon as they finished, we headed out the apartelle. Raymond, the one with the car brought me home. We got to talk about other stuff than sex. Apparently, he was from UP as well. He studied electrical engineering. He’s 31 by the way. While Lei, the other guy was 21.

*Sigh. I guess being a pokpok ain’t that easy. Earlier last night I had the chance to catch Robbie in a chat room at IRC. He said he needed my help. Again. I said no, not now. But I so wanted to see him. I just controlled myself. I logged off without even saying goodbye to him. He’s going to start working at Pizza Hut next week. I didn’t get the location but nonetheless I am happy he is working. At least he’ll have something to support himself with now that his big sister doesn’t want him back. He is staying at his best friend’s house. I just hope he be well. There’s nothing I ask more than he’s safety and good life. I love so much. Until now my love for him does not falter, even a bit. He is still the love of my life.

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2010 - Wow! I can't believe this blog is already 4 years old! I would like to thank everyone has been so nice to me and my blog. I am really happy that there are people out there who can relate to my life.

January 24, 2010 - I met this guy online who inspired me to write/blog again. To Sal, thank you for the inspiration. I owe you one.

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I am a frustrated artist who finds refuge in bitterness and solitude. Angst is what I speak and love is what I hide. I never want to be seen naked for in nakedness there is truth and truth I am afraid of. Reality never seems to be fair, life in fact is iniquitous.


I like to put up a facade like a masked man in a party. I like to exude and air of mystery and fear. For in fear I earn respect and respect I treasure.

I like to play God once in a while, controlling the people who surround me. I love to twist emotions and bring out the insides.

I have found love but it left me suddenly for reasons until now I do not understand. He pierced right through everything that is me and left a broken arrow in my heart. But I let that happen because I loved him so sincerely. If there was a time I really loved someone, it would be that time. He rocked my world; sadly, he rocked me to my death.

 


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