23 May 2006

It Gets Really Confusing

I have been doing some thinking last night while I hugged my pillow tight right to my limp body. It has been exactly three months since my recent break-up with Robbie. And though it has been very long, I am still having doubts if I’ll be able to commit myself again into a relationship. One thing is for sure, I haven’t moved on a bit from Robbie. I have attached myself too much to him that not thinking about him seems a like a very distant possibility. I know, after all that he did to me (or after what he didn’t do) I should be mad. And yes, at some point I have been angry at him but still I always find it in my heart to understand. I blame his arrogance, I blame his pride but I could never blame HIM. We had our moments, good ones and it’s those moments that I cling myself to. After all this time, I still believe in him. I do.

But I have not come to a final decision. Not yet. Yham is a great guy really. He has all the qualities I like in a guy:
(1) chinito
(2) funny
(3) cute in his own way
(4) relatively tall (only I’m taller)
(5) slim (I hate buffy guys)
(6) and he is very sweet.

Right now I am confused. (I can hear my friends say in the background: Bading ka na nga, confused ka pa! How redundant!) I don’t want to ruin another opportunity with Yham. I had my chance before but I ignored him. And if I don’t jump at what I have now, I am afraid I will never have that chance again.

But Robbie still occupies my heart. And this is where it gets REALLY CONFUSING.


  • that's ok brew. i feel you, it's hard to move on. but then i hope this yham guy could take away that feeling and not replace it. :)

    good luck brew! ;p

    By Blogger juice is justine, at 3:44 AM  

  • Move on, my friend. Past is past. The important thing is your present, that is for your future you know?

    Haha. Talagang pinilit pagdugtung-dugtungin.

    Seriously, it's time to let go. Yun lang. Oh, and by the way, ni-link ko yung "batpole" post mo sa blog ko. Medyo kumonek sa entry ko ngayon e. Haha. May libreng ad ka na naman sa akin ha. ;)

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 4:07 AM  

  • dont u think its high time for u to move on? Come on.. picture this: here u are.. savoring all the "good times" with him.. but do u think..he, also spends some second to reminisce?

    But.. u better take things slow too.. just let it be.. dont rush things.. alright?

    mwah! luv yah dear!!

    Ohs0gorjuzmE signing off now.. hahaha!!

    By Anonymous Devilicious, at 6:15 AM  

  • hi brew! i am here because my blog hopping led me on this site... lmao! hmmp!

    forget the ex! have the hottie! lmao! living in the past isn't a joyride! drama is in yuor system ryt now ayt??? hmmp change it! hmmp try to think of your friends! ex are there not to be remembered with happy moments! they're there to be treasured as PAST! no happy moments! lmao! as if that made sense! lmao!

    can u add me up on your link????
    mine here:


    hope you drop by my site!

    By Blogger paradise_keeper, at 6:23 AM  

  • hay naku brew... ikaw lang ang makakapag decide kung ano dapat mong gawin...

    si yham ba o hindi si yham???? habang hindi ka pa nakakapag decide... tara at mag yosi tayo.

    By Blogger Rob a.k.a Bim, at 8:22 AM  

  • i do not have the capacity to comment on what you had with robbie, or on yham as a person for that matter. but i think it's best not to think about things too much. just do whatever feels right.

    if things turn for the worse, there's always regret. :P and then move on again. (hah! listen to me. as if i'm credible.)

    By Blogger carl, at 9:48 AM  

  • Whenever we fall in love our hearts get pampered and/or get a beating. If you're heart's healed and you think you're ready, then go ahead. We pass this way only once. :)

    By Blogger ~*galenlondeien*~, at 12:56 PM  

  • you don't decide... you know na kung siya na when a decesion is made for you by something else and you can't do anything about it... and you don't want to do anything about it because you know it's right...


    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 4:26 PM  

  • nako. lab problem na naman. lintek na buhay, halos lahat ng BLOGGERS; kundi ultimate heaven ang peeling sa LOVE - naguguluhan.

    tama na naman si rob. si yham ba o hindi si yham? utak ba o puso? laban ba o bawi?

    hehe. malay ko. buhay mo yan. :D hihi dumaan lang!!

    By Blogger utakgago, at 4:43 PM  

  • hah.

    we have the same problem. the only difference is the names involved (obviously).

    uhmm.. no advice from me, kasi i'm still confused myself. the only thing i could say is that people should move on.

    baka it's just the memory of him and your good moments together. that's what you're holding on to.

    memory is different from the real thing.

    but then again, who am i to speak?

    toodles. ü

    By Blogger mystic rouge, at 5:41 PM  

  • thanks everyone. mwah!

    grabe, ang dami ko fwends...

    wala lang...

    By Blogger /iambrew, at 12:26 AM  

  • always here for you brew! :D

    By Blogger juice is justine, at 2:10 AM  

  • thanks justine. mwah!

    By Blogger /iambrew, at 6:47 PM  

  • I've been on that kind of stage. But as the other's have said. It's time to moved on. You deserved it!

    By Blogger Chas Ravndal, at 7:18 AM  

  • hayyy. thanks chas ravndal, (did i say it? nice name) i appreciate the advice. yeah i think so too. but i just can't get myself to. or maybe i don't want to. i dunno anymore...

    By Blogger /iambrew, at 12:30 PM  

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2010 - Wow! I can't believe this blog is already 4 years old! I would like to thank everyone has been so nice to me and my blog. I am really happy that there are people out there who can relate to my life.

January 24, 2010 - I met this guy online who inspired me to write/blog again. To Sal, thank you for the inspiration. I owe you one.

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I am a frustrated artist who finds refuge in bitterness and solitude. Angst is what I speak and love is what I hide. I never want to be seen naked for in nakedness there is truth and truth I am afraid of. Reality never seems to be fair, life in fact is iniquitous.

I like to put up a facade like a masked man in a party. I like to exude and air of mystery and fear. For in fear I earn respect and respect I treasure.

I like to play God once in a while, controlling the people who surround me. I love to twist emotions and bring out the insides.

I have found love but it left me suddenly for reasons until now I do not understand. He pierced right through everything that is me and left a broken arrow in my heart. But I let that happen because I loved him so sincerely. If there was a time I really loved someone, it would be that time. He rocked my world; sadly, he rocked me to my death.


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