14 May 2006

Unpublished Lettoy for Mama


I love you. I know I should be telling you that often and I am sorry for not being able to do so. I just can’t relay how I feel. Words are not my thing when it comes to showing my emotions towards you, and the rest of the family. For years I seldom see you, talk to you, tell you my problems, and kiss you.

The truth is, I miss that. And I think YOU are the GREATEST MOM in the whole wide world. And I know a little secret. I was born 6 months after your marriage which means…;þ But that is totally fine. I should be happy and blessed you didn’t get me aborted. Not that it is/was your thing but under the circumstances you could have done so. People had been harsh to you and your marriage and I hate them. I hate them for making you feel miserable and sad. And I promise, someday, we will win over those miseries. I promise.

Mama, I know sometimes you feel that I am so far away… so… so detached. I know that I am not the son you would have hoped for. I know I disappoint you a lot. And I am really sorry for being that way.

But whatever I have become or will become, I will still be your baby Ian who you and Papa call “love.” I am still that baby who you brought with you to school while teaching. I will still be that little boy who you accompanied with to his first day in class, to his first dental check-up, to his first time on the stage to receive awards in school, to his circumcision.... etcetera.

I love you and words can never, ever be enough to say how grateful and happy I am that you are my Mama. I miss you. HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY to YOU Mama! Mwah!


Other Mother's Day posts:
(1) Of Motherhood, Children and Manicures by Luxe, Fab and Phat
(2) There'll never be a woman like you in my life by Bryan of Miseducated Virgin
(3) Mom by Rob of Erase and Rewind


  • awwww. *sob*
    oohh i was born 3 months after my parents' marriage. ;)

    this post is soo sweet. couldn't have been written any other way. tc. :D

    By Blogger juice is justine, at 3:27 AM  

  • hey justine, thanks...
    i never hear it from my parents. nalaman ko lang yan from my cuzin who was told by my pakialamerang lola...
    kaya pala nagalit si mama nung sinabi ko sa gurfriend ko na ipalaglag nya yung baby nya... nabuntis xa ng bf nya)
    i love my mom so much...

    By Blogger /iambrew, at 3:35 AM  

  • I hope your mom could read your blog! ang sweet mo namang anak ako! I don't do such thing to my mom kase I'm too shy to tell what i feel but I always tell her that I love her and I thank her always... hehehe e'm I sweet or what?...

    By Blogger nate, at 12:04 PM  

  • Ganda. Wala akong masabi. =)

    By Anonymous Aldrin, at 1:16 PM  

  • Happy mother's day to all the angels who understand gay men like us!

    Was that off key? He hee, Cheers!

    By Blogger Momel, at 2:31 PM  

  • my mom died two months ago. i wish i got to tell her about how much i love her.

    By Blogger mussolini, at 3:27 PM  

  • nice lettoy to your mom.

    your mom must be very proud that he has a son like you.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 12:23 AM  

  • aww. sweeet! happy M-day to your Mama! :)

    By Blogger Rob, at 1:18 AM  

  • nate, nahh... di rin ako sweet in person. and i dun intend to have my mom read this blog. dami nya malalaman abt me--stuff she'd rather not know. baka mabuang un. but i luv her so... and yes, yer sweet. :þ


    momel, actually i havent told her im gay. but i think she has an idea. happy mother's day to yer mom..


    mussolini, i am really, i mean really sorry to hear that. nonetheless happy mother's day to yer mom as well...im sure she knows how mush u luv her and im sure u miss her... ;'(


    jhed, tnx po. i luv my mom so much talaga...


    rob, thanks. happy mday 2 ur mom too... :þ

    By Blogger /iambrew, at 1:48 AM  

  • this is nice. kaya lang di nya malalaman...and thats kinda sad.. but if its your thing then its fine. haha.

    By Anonymous janpol, at 1:32 PM  

  • janpol, yeah. i have this thing about hiding my feelings from people who are really close to me...

    By Blogger /iambrew, at 2:46 PM  

  • aaaawwwwww.. sweet!!!!!!

    By Anonymous Devilicious, at 6:09 PM  

  • hey devilicious, i am sweet naman talaga eh... wahehehe...

    By Blogger /iambrew, at 6:21 PM  

  • Very pretty site! Keep working. thnx!

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 1:03 PM  

  • Interesting website with a lot of resources and detailed explanations.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 1:03 PM  

  • Nice! Where you get this guestbook? I want the same script.. Awesome content. thankyou.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 11:35 PM  

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2010 - Wow! I can't believe this blog is already 4 years old! I would like to thank everyone has been so nice to me and my blog. I am really happy that there are people out there who can relate to my life.

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I am a frustrated artist who finds refuge in bitterness and solitude. Angst is what I speak and love is what I hide. I never want to be seen naked for in nakedness there is truth and truth I am afraid of. Reality never seems to be fair, life in fact is iniquitous.

I like to put up a facade like a masked man in a party. I like to exude and air of mystery and fear. For in fear I earn respect and respect I treasure.

I like to play God once in a while, controlling the people who surround me. I love to twist emotions and bring out the insides.

I have found love but it left me suddenly for reasons until now I do not understand. He pierced right through everything that is me and left a broken arrow in my heart. But I let that happen because I loved him so sincerely. If there was a time I really loved someone, it would be that time. He rocked my world; sadly, he rocked me to my death.


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