14 May 2006

Unpublished Lettoy for Mama

Mama,

I love you. I know I should be telling you that often and I am sorry for not being able to do so. I just can’t relay how I feel. Words are not my thing when it comes to showing my emotions towards you, and the rest of the family. For years I seldom see you, talk to you, tell you my problems, and kiss you.

The truth is, I miss that. And I think YOU are the GREATEST MOM in the whole wide world. And I know a little secret. I was born 6 months after your marriage which means…;þ But that is totally fine. I should be happy and blessed you didn’t get me aborted. Not that it is/was your thing but under the circumstances you could have done so. People had been harsh to you and your marriage and I hate them. I hate them for making you feel miserable and sad. And I promise, someday, we will win over those miseries. I promise.

Mama, I know sometimes you feel that I am so far away… so… so detached. I know that I am not the son you would have hoped for. I know I disappoint you a lot. And I am really sorry for being that way.

But whatever I have become or will become, I will still be your baby Ian who you and Papa call “love.” I am still that baby who you brought with you to school while teaching. I will still be that little boy who you accompanied with to his first day in class, to his first dental check-up, to his first time on the stage to receive awards in school, to his circumcision.... etcetera.

I love you and words can never, ever be enough to say how grateful and happy I am that you are my Mama. I miss you. HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY to YOU Mama! Mwah!

Ian


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Other Mother's Day posts:
(1) Of Motherhood, Children and Manicures by Luxe, Fab and Phat
(2) There'll never be a woman like you in my life by Bryan of Miseducated Virgin
(3) Mom by Rob of Erase and Rewind

16 Comments:

  • awwww. *sob*
    oohh i was born 3 months after my parents' marriage. ;)

    this post is soo sweet. couldn't have been written any other way. tc. :D

    By Blogger juice is justine, at 3:27 AM  

  • hey justine, thanks...
    ---
    i never hear it from my parents. nalaman ko lang yan from my cuzin who was told by my pakialamerang lola...
    ---
    kaya pala nagalit si mama nung sinabi ko sa gurfriend ko na ipalaglag nya yung baby nya... nabuntis xa ng bf nya)
    ---
    i love my mom so much...

    By Blogger /iambrew, at 3:35 AM  

  • I hope your mom could read your blog! ang sweet mo namang anak ako! I don't do such thing to my mom kase I'm too shy to tell what i feel but I always tell her that I love her and I thank her always... hehehe e'm I sweet or what?...

    By Blogger nate, at 12:04 PM  

  • Ganda. Wala akong masabi. =)

    By Anonymous Aldrin, at 1:16 PM  

  • Happy mother's day to all the angels who understand gay men like us!

    Was that off key? He hee, Cheers!

    By Blogger Momel, at 2:31 PM  

  • my mom died two months ago. i wish i got to tell her about how much i love her.

    By Blogger mussolini, at 3:27 PM  

  • nice lettoy to your mom.

    your mom must be very proud that he has a son like you.

    By Blogger Jhed, at 12:23 AM  

  • aww. sweeet! happy M-day to your Mama! :)

    By Blogger Rob, at 1:18 AM  

  • nate, nahh... di rin ako sweet in person. and i dun intend to have my mom read this blog. dami nya malalaman abt me--stuff she'd rather not know. baka mabuang un. but i luv her so... and yes, yer sweet. :þ

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    momel, actually i havent told her im gay. but i think she has an idea. happy mother's day to yer mom..

    ----

    mussolini, i am really, i mean really sorry to hear that. nonetheless happy mother's day to yer mom as well...im sure she knows how mush u luv her and im sure u miss her... ;'(

    ----

    jhed, tnx po. i luv my mom so much talaga...

    ----

    rob, thanks. happy mday 2 ur mom too... :þ

    By Blogger /iambrew, at 1:48 AM  

  • this is nice. kaya lang di nya malalaman...and thats kinda sad.. but if its your thing then its fine. haha.

    By Anonymous janpol, at 1:32 PM  

  • janpol, yeah. i have this thing about hiding my feelings from people who are really close to me...

    By Blogger /iambrew, at 2:46 PM  

  • aaaawwwwww.. sweet!!!!!!

    By Anonymous Devilicious, at 6:09 PM  

  • hey devilicious, i am sweet naman talaga eh... wahehehe...

    By Blogger /iambrew, at 6:21 PM  

  • Very pretty site! Keep working. thnx!
    »

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 1:03 PM  

  • Interesting website with a lot of resources and detailed explanations.
    »

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 1:03 PM  

  • Nice! Where you get this guestbook? I want the same script.. Awesome content. thankyou.
    »

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 11:35 PM  

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2010 - Wow! I can't believe this blog is already 4 years old! I would like to thank everyone has been so nice to me and my blog. I am really happy that there are people out there who can relate to my life.

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I am a frustrated artist who finds refuge in bitterness and solitude. Angst is what I speak and love is what I hide. I never want to be seen naked for in nakedness there is truth and truth I am afraid of. Reality never seems to be fair, life in fact is iniquitous.


I like to put up a facade like a masked man in a party. I like to exude and air of mystery and fear. For in fear I earn respect and respect I treasure.

I like to play God once in a while, controlling the people who surround me. I love to twist emotions and bring out the insides.

I have found love but it left me suddenly for reasons until now I do not understand. He pierced right through everything that is me and left a broken arrow in my heart. But I let that happen because I loved him so sincerely. If there was a time I really loved someone, it would be that time. He rocked my world; sadly, he rocked me to my death.

 


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