Undoubtedly Gay

What do I want with my life?
Honestly I do not know. As much as I like to have a concrete answer, I do not. All I know is I want everything to be better. I want my to be satisfied, to feel how it is to be truly fulfilled. I want everything to be less complex, to be less difficult.

I want guys drooling over me. I want cute guys calling me everytime. I want them to kneel and beg for my attention. But then again, I know that is not possible. That will never be possible. I kinda accepted that as a fact of what I call “my life.”

If I were straight, what would I be doing now?
Hmm.. Tough question. Being gay has been my way of life for too long that I don’t have an idea what it is to be straight. I don’t want to be straight. I don’t want to be limited. I don’t want to be boxed into something. I want to be flexible. I want to be able to do everything I want or wish without qualms or hesitations.

Power. I want power. And with power comes great responsibility. Chos! (I love spiderman.)

Am I happy?
Generally, yes. I am happy. Or I try to be happy. Most of the time my friends keep me occupied to think of sadness. But when they are away, I go into this maelstrom of sad thoughts and biiterness. Of Robbie and the rest of my shorlived affairs I called relationships. Though most of them started with sex, they all meant something to me. I loved ‘em all. And some of them I still love.

Now back to reality. Back to work. Aray!