05 May 2006

On Bitterness and Moving On

Nu ni nu ni nu ni...
(Glen is singing it in the background.)

Woke up fine today. Nothing spectacular has happened yet. Hope that elevator incident from yesterday won’t happen again. I really got scared.

Anyways, I was chatting at IRC last night and guess who I stumbled on? Yeah, Robbie. His ad said something like; 19 cute chinito slim here should have a place. There was also a pic link included in the ad. Mine said; http://www.picturetrail.com/iambrew >>> I am free. But I doubt it if he checked my pic link.

The conversation was quick. After the pleasantries, he said goodbye. Pro’ly picked up a guy already. I coldly said my goodbyes back.

I felt a tinge of pain run through my body seeing him online and pro’ly looking for a fuck. But hey, I was there as well and sorta looking for the same thing. I can’t blame him or anybody. I blame myself for feeling that way, for feeling so bitter about the break up. I remember what Jack said the other day, I should move on. I should let go. I should find someone else. I told her I choose not to. And indeed that is the truth. The thought of letting go just hurts so much. My feeling towards him never faltered a bit.

I just hope someday… No. I hope. Period.

2 Comments:

  • moving on and letting go is never an easy thing to do... heck it's a bitch that'll come and bite you in the behind.... and it has puppies too...

    all I can say is.... spank your inner moppet, whatever, just get over it....

    if you can't be strong about it... be weak about it..... and things will be alright sooner or later....

    ok... "Brew"

    -Nera-
    "Born and Raised to Misbehave"

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 5:40 AM  

  • I didn't know you left a comment here Nera. Thanks a lot. You advice is appreciated.

    Moving on is just so hard. I hope someday I'll find the strength to finally let go of him. :þ

    By Blogger /iambrew, at 5:53 PM  

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2010 - Wow! I can't believe this blog is already 4 years old! I would like to thank everyone has been so nice to me and my blog. I am really happy that there are people out there who can relate to my life.

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I am a frustrated artist who finds refuge in bitterness and solitude. Angst is what I speak and love is what I hide. I never want to be seen naked for in nakedness there is truth and truth I am afraid of. Reality never seems to be fair, life in fact is iniquitous.


I like to put up a facade like a masked man in a party. I like to exude and air of mystery and fear. For in fear I earn respect and respect I treasure.

I like to play God once in a while, controlling the people who surround me. I love to twist emotions and bring out the insides.

I have found love but it left me suddenly for reasons until now I do not understand. He pierced right through everything that is me and left a broken arrow in my heart. But I let that happen because I loved him so sincerely. If there was a time I really loved someone, it would be that time. He rocked my world; sadly, he rocked me to my death.

 


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