01 March 2006

Work and Something Else

Work today was not as heavy as the past few days were. I just had four calls (not like I exceed 20 calls in a day or anything) and mostly spamming forwarded email to my friends and creating surveys and stuff. Joppee and I were laughing the whole shift like nothing mattered. In short, I enjoyed my shift today.

Remember I had invited Troll for coffee the other day? Well I changed my mind and said that I was not going anymore. Mark (another gay officemate) apparently wanted to invite him out as well that was mainly the reason for the change of heart. He actually still had a hang over from watching Brokeback Mountain and envisioned Troll to be Heath Ledger and he Jake Gyllenhaal. He even said that he wanted to bring Troll to the same mountain. As if. Well, let his imagination fly him there I guess. Troll is now off-limits. And to think I was beginning to like him.

Otap, real name is Steph (gave her that nick when she gave me otap), wants me to start dating other guys. I readily said no but she insisted that it might be nice to date his friend’s friend Ryan (again?). I am beginning to have a phobia against guys named Ryan and Marvin. They are starting to be coined as heartbreakers. No offense to those guys though. This is more of a personal vendetta. But I said yes eventually. I am not keeping my hopes high though. It’s still 6th feet under.

Anyway, I am going to wake up early later (around 8am) so I could send money home. My siblings there need it for school. It’s not like I have a choice. And I know how tight my parents’ budget is. I wish there was a way for me to put up a business or something just to make ends meet. I wish I’ll wake up tomorrow on a bed of millions of cash. Poor me.

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2010 - Wow! I can't believe this blog is already 4 years old! I would like to thank everyone has been so nice to me and my blog. I am really happy that there are people out there who can relate to my life.

January 24, 2010 - I met this guy online who inspired me to write/blog again. To Sal, thank you for the inspiration. I owe you one.

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I am a frustrated artist who finds refuge in bitterness and solitude. Angst is what I speak and love is what I hide. I never want to be seen naked for in nakedness there is truth and truth I am afraid of. Reality never seems to be fair, life in fact is iniquitous.


I like to put up a facade like a masked man in a party. I like to exude and air of mystery and fear. For in fear I earn respect and respect I treasure.

I like to play God once in a while, controlling the people who surround me. I love to twist emotions and bring out the insides.

I have found love but it left me suddenly for reasons until now I do not understand. He pierced right through everything that is me and left a broken arrow in my heart. But I let that happen because I loved him so sincerely. If there was a time I really loved someone, it would be that time. He rocked my world; sadly, he rocked me to my death.

 


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