The Loves in my Love lives… II[unedited]

Hmm… Went to Meatshop (again) last night. I got Tessa to drive me there from work. Really nice girl. I love her. Rome immediately saw me and he got me seated beside him. and to my surprise, Patrick (crush @ work) was there as well. hayyy… I still can’t look him straight in the eyes though. I wonder why.

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To continue yesterday’s post I present you Edsel. I met Edsel at YM. This guy is a genius. He writes really good and he also makes movie reviews. He’s like 8inches smaller than me though (in terms of height you perve! :þ). But our relationship did not last. This was the time I was trying so hard to forget and let go of Marvin. I thought I was being unfair to him and to myself because I kept thinking about Marvin. So I decided to break up with him after a month or so (really can’t remember). But we remained friends.

One thing I could never forget when we were together was the time he brought me to Star City with his classmates from college. About me: I hate rides. But he got me to ride the big boat thingy, the Cyclone loop and other really scary rides. Cyclone loop was the worst! I kept my eyes shut the whole time and I couldn’t even scream! It was like any moment by body slip through the safety (?) bars. After that I promise not to do it again. But it was all fun. And I loved him then. Plus, he was really sweet to me.

Marvin. Another Marvin. I met him through a fuck buddy. Apparently this FB of mine had a big crush on Marvin and he was describing the latter as angelic. Curiosity got the best of me so I asked for Marvin’s number. At first Marvin was hesitant and wouldn’t meet me up. When I finally got through him, he agreed to meet me at Gloria Jeans Araneta.

One thing you should know about him before the relationship: HE WAS STRAIGHT! or so he claims. In fact, I was his first boyfriend. Beat that!

At first I wasn’t that serious since the idea of having a fair relationship with a straight guy seemed so far-fetched. But Marvin was different. He showed me love and I really felt it. We lasted for 3 months and the break-up was hurtful.

Here’s the story of the break-up and also Jerome’s story. I met Jerome months before Marvin. He was this cute 17-year old gay guy. I invited him to my place and I let him suck me off since he didn’t want me to reciprocate that to him. I didn’e even see him naked or half-naked. After that we kept in touch but never met again. So in short there was no me and jerome. During my relationship with Marvin, I met Jerome for coffee with no intentions whatsoever. I met him at Greenbelt III in Makati. Then he told me loved me and stuff. I was shocked because I didn’t know that from the day we first met until that time we were having coffee he though there was something between us. He thought we were in a relationship. And being the player that I was, I didn’t tell him Marvin’s existence in my life. I juggled my time to meet Marvin, Jerome and of course work. I was doing a great job. Or so I thought. When I finally realized I should sort things out, I knew I had to choose between Marvin and Jerome. That was easy. I loved Marvin. So I broke up with Jerome which he didn’t take easily and that same day I had Marvin went to the house where we enjoyed a couple of movies. After the movies and the sex, we decided to hit the sack. I put my phone off like (which I always did during that time) and went to sleep with Marvin hugging me and whispering I love you’s.

Then suddenly I noticed that Marvin wasn’t beside me so I sat down the makeshit bed (we were in the sala sleeping) and saw him sitting on the sofa crying. I asked why and all he said was “Manloloko! Manloloko ka! Bakit mo ako niloko?!” I didn’t know what the problem was so I asked why. He said back,”Sino si Jerome?” Before I could say anything he got up and slammed the door. I follwed him outside and said we should talk but he was insitent of going home. And since I just woke up, my systems were also just waking up, and my reflects real slow I didn’t notice he was out of sight. I texted him saying sorry and stuff but he only replied, “Pag may nangyari sa akin ngayon ikaw ang may kasalanan” which made the feeling even worse. I couldn’t sleep the rest of the night that time. He stopped texting me and so it was over. It was then that I saw several messages from Jerome asking me to come back to him. That bitch!

A few weeks after I heard from somebody that Jerome and Marvin were seeing each other. How about that? I didn’t know Karma could be that fast! I knew it was may fault and I didn’t have any right to ask for forgiveness so I just soaked in my bitterness and tried to moved on from what happened. But every night I would always cry thinking how I wasted Marvin’s love for me and just when I was loving him for real, he left me.

A few more weeks Jerome texted me saying Marvin was about to be married to his girlfriend who he got pregnant. I knew this girl. Marvin used to talk about her when we were together. I got so depressed because the thought of not having him anymore hurt me like hell and now that he was gonna be a daddy made my chances slimmer than how it already was. I got so obsessed that I even told Marvin to have an abortion. I know what you are thinking. I am evil but I am pro-abortion.

I tried really hard to move on and when I already did (after a few more boyfriends) he showed up saying he still loves me and that he would do anything to get me back. He also said that the baby and marriage was just a ploy to hurt me. He added that all his relationships after me (girl and boy) failed because of me. Apparently he hasn’t moved on yet.

Well congratulations Marvin. You have succeeded. You hurt me big time. And during the time I was begging you to come back you ignored me like trash. But I am not mad at him. What happened was all my fault anyway.

Unfortunately I had a boyfriend that time whom I really really loved. Marvin and I remained friends and we sometimes meet for coffee. Up to now he still says he loves me. I love him too but not as much as I loved him before.