27 May 2006

The Loves in my Love lives… II
[unedited]

Hmm… Went to Meatshop (again) last night. I got Tessa to drive me there from work. Really nice girl. I love her. Rome immediately saw me and he got me seated beside him. and to my surprise, Patrick (crush @ work) was there as well. hayyy… I still can’t look him straight in the eyes though. I wonder why.

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To continue yesterday’s post I present you Edsel. I met Edsel at YM. This guy is a genius. He writes really good and he also makes movie reviews. He’s like 8inches smaller than me though (in terms of height you perve! :þ). But our relationship did not last. This was the time I was trying so hard to forget and let go of Marvin. I thought I was being unfair to him and to myself because I kept thinking about Marvin. So I decided to break up with him after a month or so (really can’t remember). But we remained friends.

One thing I could never forget when we were together was the time he brought me to Star City with his classmates from college. About me: I hate rides. But he got me to ride the big boat thingy, the Cyclone loop and other really scary rides. Cyclone loop was the worst! I kept my eyes shut the whole time and I couldn’t even scream! It was like any moment by body slip through the safety (?) bars. After that I promise not to do it again. But it was all fun. And I loved him then. Plus, he was really sweet to me.

Marvin. Another Marvin. I met him through a fuck buddy. Apparently this FB of mine had a big crush on Marvin and he was describing the latter as angelic. Curiosity got the best of me so I asked for Marvin’s number. At first Marvin was hesitant and wouldn’t meet me up. When I finally got through him, he agreed to meet me at Gloria Jeans Araneta.

One thing you should know about him before the relationship: HE WAS STRAIGHT! or so he claims. In fact, I was his first boyfriend. Beat that!

At first I wasn’t that serious since the idea of having a fair relationship with a straight guy seemed so far-fetched. But Marvin was different. He showed me love and I really felt it. We lasted for 3 months and the break-up was hurtful.

Here’s the story of the break-up and also Jerome’s story. I met Jerome months before Marvin. He was this cute 17-year old gay guy. I invited him to my place and I let him suck me off since he didn’t want me to reciprocate that to him. I didn’e even see him naked or half-naked. After that we kept in touch but never met again. So in short there was no me and jerome. During my relationship with Marvin, I met Jerome for coffee with no intentions whatsoever. I met him at Greenbelt III in Makati. Then he told me loved me and stuff. I was shocked because I didn’t know that from the day we first met until that time we were having coffee he though there was something between us. He thought we were in a relationship. And being the player that I was, I didn’t tell him Marvin’s existence in my life. I juggled my time to meet Marvin, Jerome and of course work. I was doing a great job. Or so I thought. When I finally realized I should sort things out, I knew I had to choose between Marvin and Jerome. That was easy. I loved Marvin. So I broke up with Jerome which he didn’t take easily and that same day I had Marvin went to the house where we enjoyed a couple of movies. After the movies and the sex, we decided to hit the sack. I put my phone off like (which I always did during that time) and went to sleep with Marvin hugging me and whispering I love you’s.

Then suddenly I noticed that Marvin wasn’t beside me so I sat down the makeshit bed (we were in the sala sleeping) and saw him sitting on the sofa crying. I asked why and all he said was “Manloloko! Manloloko ka! Bakit mo ako niloko?!” I didn’t know what the problem was so I asked why. He said back,”Sino si Jerome?” Before I could say anything he got up and slammed the door. I follwed him outside and said we should talk but he was insitent of going home. And since I just woke up, my systems were also just waking up, and my reflects real slow I didn’t notice he was out of sight. I texted him saying sorry and stuff but he only replied, “Pag may nangyari sa akin ngayon ikaw ang may kasalanan” which made the feeling even worse. I couldn’t sleep the rest of the night that time. He stopped texting me and so it was over. It was then that I saw several messages from Jerome asking me to come back to him. That bitch!

A few weeks after I heard from somebody that Jerome and Marvin were seeing each other. How about that? I didn’t know Karma could be that fast! I knew it was may fault and I didn’t have any right to ask for forgiveness so I just soaked in my bitterness and tried to moved on from what happened. But every night I would always cry thinking how I wasted Marvin’s love for me and just when I was loving him for real, he left me.

A few more weeks Jerome texted me saying Marvin was about to be married to his girlfriend who he got pregnant. I knew this girl. Marvin used to talk about her when we were together. I got so depressed because the thought of not having him anymore hurt me like hell and now that he was gonna be a daddy made my chances slimmer than how it already was. I got so obsessed that I even told Marvin to have an abortion. I know what you are thinking. I am evil but I am pro-abortion.

I tried really hard to move on and when I already did (after a few more boyfriends) he showed up saying he still loves me and that he would do anything to get me back. He also said that the baby and marriage was just a ploy to hurt me. He added that all his relationships after me (girl and boy) failed because of me. Apparently he hasn’t moved on yet.

Well congratulations Marvin. You have succeeded. You hurt me big time. And during the time I was begging you to come back you ignored me like trash. But I am not mad at him. What happened was all my fault anyway.

Unfortunately I had a boyfriend that time whom I really really loved. Marvin and I remained friends and we sometimes meet for coffee. Up to now he still says he loves me. I love him too but not as much as I loved him before.

45 Comments:

  • mantakin mo nga naman. ü

    my post and your post match. :p

    By Blogger mystic rouge, at 4:12 PM  

  • what post? link?
    wahehehe...

    By Blogger /iambrew, at 4:31 PM  

  • brew... need help... call me... 09223186067 or text...

    i need a blog...

    i need you to design me a template...

    :)

    please...

    i want the same look with my site...

    please...

    lexan...

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 4:35 PM  

  • please text me...

    desperate here...

    birthday gift mo na sa akin...

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 4:55 PM  

  • napansin ko lang... sensya na ha... lives kasi... ilan ba buhay mo?

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 5:02 PM  

  • pagbigyan mo na si lexan para may blogspot na siya.

    anyway, I sooo LURVED this post. Wala lang, for some reason, these stories are one of those things na madalas kong tinututukan. Being gay and all that good shit.

    Anyway, like I mentioned, I so HEART this post, and the earlier one, too. You keep on it!

    Cheers!

    By Blogger Momel, at 5:48 PM  

  • OMG! Brew! that marvin shithead! tsk tsk tsk!

    oh well, boys are like that -- its either u play them or you'll get played.

    By Blogger Rob a.k.a Bim, at 5:57 PM  

  • brew! awww... it's so sad to hear your Marvin story. I had an ex a long time ago and he got married too. but mine is a diff story. yours is more... LOVE? i dunno. I feel what you felt.

    By Blogger alex|hates, at 6:08 PM  

  • anonymous named LEXAN, i posted something sa taggy mo. im willing to make you a template peo i will need ur computer (since i cant do it at home). pwede ako mag-overnyt if u like.

    momel, thanks darling. i feel so appreciated. wahehehe...

    rob, hi baby. Marvin is not all shithead. It was all my fault anyhow. Im not mad at him and pls dun be mad at him. mwah!

    By Blogger /iambrew, at 6:08 PM  

  • humabok si alex|hates...
    wahehehe... yeah what i had with Marvin was love... hayyy...

    By Blogger /iambrew, at 6:09 PM  

  • wow! I never heard of anything like your story. Sad.

    By Blogger marX, at 6:59 PM  

  • i know marx. it's sad... hayyy...

    tnx for the visit!

    By Blogger /iambrew, at 7:05 PM  

  • hey, part II is sad. :'c

    the "the baby and marriage was just a ploy to hurt [you]" sucks big time.

    so that leaves 5 more?

    thanks for the comment on my blog, btw. and, yeah, ouch is right.

    By Blogger alikoy, at 7:14 PM  

  • wow you're a good person. i honestly never liked back anyone i hated so much. forgive and forget, right? i only do the forget part. anyway, you'd see someone you'll like and unconditionally like you back ;) that's for sure hehe

    By Anonymous jed, at 7:19 PM  

  • alikoy, yeah it is sad. is there a happy ending to all this? hmmm...

    jed, thanks. am i?

    By Blogger /iambrew, at 7:27 PM  

  • did you ever had sex with any of your boyfriends,,? im just curious... i love this post,,!

    By Blogger Carl, at 7:48 PM  

  • Carl, need you ask? Of course I do. SEX is an integral part of a relationship.

    Thanks for the visit Carl. wahehehe...

    By Blogger /iambrew, at 7:56 PM  

  • oh, i see.. excuse me for my laguage ha, the butt sex kind,,? haha,,! im just really curious...

    By Blogger Carl, at 8:03 PM  

  • carl, yeah, some of them. peo yung iba hanggang blowjob lang...

    QCA na malapit sa SM North Edsa ka ba?

    By Blogger /iambrew, at 8:06 PM  

  • yep,

    thanks for the info btw,,! haha,,! i'll make sure to comment on your posts whenever im online,,!

    By Blogger Carl, at 8:09 PM  

  • thanks Carl! ill do the same. wanna exchange links?

    By Blogger /iambrew, at 8:10 PM  

  • sure,,!

    By Blogger Carl, at 8:12 PM  

  • thanks baby carl. mwah!

    By Blogger /iambrew, at 8:14 PM  

  • hei brew... hindi ba nakakapagod un?! kaw huh... nagpapaka play girl ka!!! hahaha!!! ingat parati! :D

    By Blogger lucerodelara, at 9:10 PM  

  • ah o sige... i wont get mad. sabihin mo lang kapag may nanloko sau. ;) gugulpihin natin!

    By Blogger Rob a.k.a Bim, at 9:58 PM  

  • better not dwell on those stupid gits. let's all be FAB!

    By Blogger LyZa, at 10:00 PM  

  • lucerodelara, oo nakakapagod nga. kaya nga minsan rin sinasabi ko sa sarili ko na di na ako muling iibig pa (lalim noh?!) peo iba pa rin pag nagmamahal ka especially pag minamahal ka rin. wahehehe...

    rob, ang sweet naman ng baby ko. mahal na ata kita. mwah! pede pakiss?

    lyza, yeah let's all be FABulosoh!!!

    By Blogger /iambrew, at 10:08 PM  

  • despair not my friend.
    sabi mo nga,

    "there is more to life.
    tatanda ka agad."


    enjoy lang.
    maraming lalake.
    mas maraming sperms kesa egg cells.

    be happy.

    and be careful at the same time,so as not to be bruised too often. =)

    By Blogger bulitas, at 10:18 PM  

  • Shucks!

    Wawa ka naman.
    So, may 3 pa right?

    Sana yung future relationships mo ay mas maganda ang kalalabasan. ;)

    By Blogger Jhed, at 10:24 PM  

  • grabe, i love u na brew (hehe). galing ng post =)

    By Blogger *eLLe*, at 10:26 PM  

  • bulitas, yeah, i said that nga. hehe. peo minsan kasi things get the best of you. and i fall inluv too foten too soon. wahehehe... ewan ko ba?

    jhed, sana nga yung future relationship ko mas okay ang outcum. hehe.

    wut do you mean may 3?

    elle, hey thanks. dun love me too much lang. baka makalimutan mo bading ako. wahehehe...

    mwah!

    By Blogger /iambrew, at 10:41 PM  

  • may tatlo pa di ba?

    kasi sabi mo 8 ang naging bf's mo... :P

    By Blogger Jhed, at 10:52 PM  

  • @jhed - ah okay. ako ko kasi when u said may 3 you were referring to a date like May as in the month. wahehehe...

    well actually i still have 5 more... 10 sila lahat. wahehehe...

    By Blogger /iambrew, at 10:55 PM  

  • Haha.

    Ang dami ha!
    Wow!

    Tinalo mo pa ako ha, naka-10 ka na, samantalang ako hanggang fling-fling pa lang... wala pang seryoso...

    By Blogger Jhed, at 11:30 PM  

  • @jhed, actually hindi naman lahat dun serious at hindi lahat ng tinawag kong boyfriend ay serious. wahehehe...

    kung fling lang pag-uusapan ay naku madami ako nyan. sobwa. i dun even get to ask for their names. sex lang yun na. fokfok ako eh.

    wahehehe...

    By Blogger /iambrew, at 11:45 PM  

  • woohoo!! TEN MORE!! gawd brew i'm loving ur posts like a fat kid loves cake. hahah..

    By Blogger juice is justine, at 11:53 PM  

  • wow. grabe yung marvin, sayang after the night you've spend with him, nabuking ka.

    tanong ko lang, if ever PAPIPILIIN ka sa lahat ng naging boyfriends mo - sino ang pipiliin mo?

    ayun. :D nice posts brew. haha binabasa ko araw-araw!!

    By Blogger utakgago, at 11:57 PM  

  • Meatshop...as in the one in Xavierville Katipunan?

    By Anonymous hitori de, at 11:57 PM  

  • @justine, 5 na lang natitira. wahehehe... thanks for the comment... cool mo talaga!

    @kevin, i know. hayy. kasalanan ko naman eh. re ur Q: i dunno. baka yung recent or Marvin (d first)... wahehehe... watch out for the posts about the rest of my bfs...

    @hitori de, yep. Meatshop na nasa Xavierville... U go there?
    Thrice pa lang ako nakakapunta dun...

    By Blogger /iambrew, at 12:02 AM  

  • 5 or 10 or 1000 i'm still gonna read it! hahah :)

    keep em coming :p

    By Blogger juice is justine, at 3:28 AM  

  • justine, hahaha... nax naman! thanks po talaga. i appreciate it! mwah!

    By Blogger /iambrew, at 12:22 PM  

  • brew: love conquers all. hehehe =) baka maging lalaki ka sakin ah hehe joke =D

    By Blogger *eLLe*, at 5:32 PM  

  • @ elle wahehehe... i doubt it darling...

    By Blogger /iambrew, at 6:41 PM  

  • ...and i thought... never mind.

    it's good to learn conservative pa pala ako.

    wahehehe.

    By Blogger adi, at 10:15 PM  

  • @ erik. and you thought what?

    hmmm...

    By Blogger /iambrew, at 10:50 PM  

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Location: Quezon City, Philippines

2010 - Wow! I can't believe this blog is already 4 years old! I would like to thank everyone has been so nice to me and my blog. I am really happy that there are people out there who can relate to my life.

January 24, 2010 - I met this guy online who inspired me to write/blog again. To Sal, thank you for the inspiration. I owe you one.

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I am a frustrated artist who finds refuge in bitterness and solitude. Angst is what I speak and love is what I hide. I never want to be seen naked for in nakedness there is truth and truth I am afraid of. Reality never seems to be fair, life in fact is iniquitous.


I like to put up a facade like a masked man in a party. I like to exude and air of mystery and fear. For in fear I earn respect and respect I treasure.

I like to play God once in a while, controlling the people who surround me. I love to twist emotions and bring out the insides.

I have found love but it left me suddenly for reasons until now I do not understand. He pierced right through everything that is me and left a broken arrow in my heart. But I let that happen because I loved him so sincerely. If there was a time I really loved someone, it would be that time. He rocked my world; sadly, he rocked me to my death.

 


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