The Loves in my Love lives… III[unedited]

Hmmm. I am here @ work already. My supervisor asked me yesterday to go to work and render a 2-hour overtime. I gladly said yes after seeing her really frantic about not knowing what to do anymore coz there are a lot of agents on day off right now plus the fact that three teams are on their summer outing in La Luz Batangas today. Yeah, they are having fun in the sun while the rest of us suffers here @ work. Oh well, life could be worse.

Anyways, I’m still 30 monites early so im writing my third post about The Loves of my Love Lives.

After what happened with Marvin and Jerome it took me a while to recover. I dated a lot of guys, had unprotected sex and wasted my semen with guys I didn’t even know. Yeah, sometimes I don’t get their names. And then I met Zeus. He was studying at FEU taking up Nursing when I met him @ Downelink.com. I was not expecting a lot from him, physically that is, coz his picture ain’t really that nice. He was my constant release during lonely and horny nights. Ove the phone of course. Thank God for SUN--because everything important is under the SUN.

The day we finally decide to meet, I went to FEU. Well not inside. I waited for him outside. He was good-looking and oozing with sex appeal. God, I wanted to fuck him right there and then. Haha…

The second time we met he was with his friend and professor drinking @ Yes (it’s a bar with billiards in Recto.) He was tipsy after so I decided to accompany him home and spend the night in their house in Bulacan. I was worried he’d not make it home with his state. We slept in separate beds that night because he was sharing the room with his brother but the next morning right after we went to church (my first btw that year) we finally had the chance to fuck. And we did. And I was not disappointed. He was a good fuck. And looking at it now, he was just that—a good fuck!

When I got home, I asked him if he really loved me coz I was beginning to fall for him. he was not replying so I gave him a deadline. Come midnight and I still haven’t received a text from him, I’ll never text him or meet him again. Around 11:45pm that day he finally texted and said we’re better off as friends. Ouch! I hated him! It was a 3-day affair. But I was hurt and I felt to ugly and so stupid and so lost.

But I knew I had to get up and face the world again so I erased his number (yes, I am bitter) and moved on swiftly. After all, 3days was short and could easily be replaced with lots of sex with other men. And that was what I did. I had sex every other day with different guys. The rule was: Not in bed with the same guy twice. And I lived up to that.

And then I met Ryan. He lives just a ride away from my house. It started out with regular phone calls and sweet text messages. Then we decided to finally meet one night. I went to his house and we talked about stuff. Then he asked “tayo na?” I wasn’t sure I was ready for another relationship and he seemed really nice and he was cute as well so I said yes. Ryan was the boy-next-door-too-good-to-true-and-without-any-flaws type. I loved his eyes the most and his lips. Plus he kissed really good. So I spent the night there and obviously we had sex. And there I found his flaws. I am not telling what it is though.

After than one-night rendezvous, I never met him again. We are friends now. Apparently he was friends with some guys I am friends with. And we became a part of one barkada. We drink a lot by the way and we’re not bitter about what happened between us though the barkada knows about us. It was a happy ending this time.

Gelo. I was invited to join a clan which was named Cubicle for Men (C4M). It’s a group of gay guys (most of which pretends they’re bi-sexual for marketability reasons). This was where I met Gelo. He’s almost as tall as me which was a plus, he was a singer which was perfect and he did not have a hint of gayness which was a plus plus. And was well endowed. Hahaha. The first few weeks were great. He would always spend the night at home everytime he was in Manila since he’s from Laguna and he would always leave these really sweet notes. Our relationship was we call whirlwind affair. After just 3 days form the day we met, we were lovers. (Not that it was new to me anyway.) So the notes would always say something himself. I find that really sweet. It’s those little things he did that made me love him so much.

But that changed the day (or night) I met Ryan. I fell head over heels for him. But Gelo and I were still together. After a lot of thought and considerations, I finally unplugged what Gelo and I had. I broke up with him to make way for Ryan. I know what you are thinking. I am an asshole. I admit it. I am. But I also am a guy who just loves. Petty reason I know. Hmmm…

Before I actually met Ryan, I had a friend meet him for a date. Now this friend of mine was really sweet he brought a bunch of roses for Ryan the first time they met and would always visit Ryan at work. Hayyy. Ain’t that just cute?

Our relationship was really nice at first. He would always pick me up from work, then we’d eat at Tapa King (his fave was Tapa Queen and I think eating there was expensive) and then we’d have sex at his house. I would always see him during my days off or drop by his work just before I go to work. It was really going smoothly. We just had one huge fight one time. He was asking me to have sex with him but I wasn’t in the mood and he was being so makulit and that kinda irritated me so got out of his house and went home which made him really mad. The next night, he picked me up and we drove around their subdivision. He suddenly said, “Ayoko na. Let’s break up.’ Tears fell from eyes and all I could say was, “Okay. I am really sorry for what happened. I’ll get off her and find my way out. Thanks.” Then he let out a big smile and said, “I was joking. But I didn’t like what you did. Pinababalik kita but you didn’t. you even turned off your phone.” Then I cried harder. In that moment, I realized how much I really love him and how much it hurts to lose him.

We were okay after that and made it to our first month. Since I had work that night (graveyard shift) I met him and his friends at Starbucks Eastwood for coffee just before work. We also ate at Dencio’s. Of course his friends didn’t know we were together so he introduced me as a friend which I had no problem about. It’s totally understandable. While we were having coffee at Starbucks and his friends were away, he told me, “Maw, gusto ko ng kabit.” (Maw-short for meow. He knew I love cats so that what we call each other) Obviously he was making me jealous. One thing he hates about me was I was not the jealous type. He was and he wanted me to be the same. So I said to him, “Sige, refer kita sa mga friends ko.” And I did which was a big mistake because days after he was already dating my friend.

He said it was just a friendly meeting for coffee. Friendly my ass! Friendly coffee in the wee hours of the morning? After three night that he didn’t picked me up from work because he was with my friend I finally asked him the question, “Mahal mo ba siya?” And guess what he said? ‘Ewan ko nga eh…” And as I was reading that text message I felt my world crumble down. I knew I had to make a decision. I knew I had to make him choose. But he didn’t choose. He left me hanging. That was when I finally decided that it was over.

Ryan was the first relationship (after my first bf-Marvin) I did not cheat on. During this time I promise myself to be monogamous. I pulled it off. I did not have sex with any other guy but him and it hurt like hell knowing he was being fucked by my friend. But I loved him so I gave him another chance… And another chance… And another chance… The third time I finally decided it was OVER. PERIOD. TAMA NA!

The last time I heard, he has a new bf now and he’s happy. Good for him. I hate him.