09 August 2006

I Just Want To Sleep

Gawd! I am awake for almost 24 hours now. I just could not sleep. I went here to work early so I could get some sleep but to no avail. And now I am so sleepy but I could not sleep for I might oversleep and be late for my 3pm shift. I have been trying to sleep since 10pm last night but I could get myslef to. Must be the cans of cans of Coke I drank yesterday. But still.
Anyways, here’s what happened while I was away. After my shift last Sunday (technically early Monday) I waited for Mark and Joppee to logout so we could go to Luis’ birthday party at Meatshop. We left the office around 3am and took a cab to Meatshop in Katipunan. By then, the rain was beginning to pour really hard. When we got there, I went out the cab and checked where the guys were. Unfortunately, they ain’t there. We were too late. Everyone went home and I was so freaking wet because of the rain.

We had the cab go to Cubao where Joppee dropped Mark and I off along Aurora near Gateway. We smoked for a while and waited for a ride home. Well, that was my original plan. But Scott was still awake waiting for me hoping I’d show up. So I decided to drop by Stonehouse Hotel along E-Rod. Mark and I took the same cab and he dropped me off in front of the Hotel where this old fat guy was standing, waiting. It was Scott. He asked me to wait in the resto while he put his bag in his room where his boyfriend was sleeping.

When he went down, we ordered coffee and had this long conversation about immigration, the law, the government, his exboyfriend, his current boyfriend, his apartment in Angeles, Pampanga, his stay in the Philippines, and then his current boyfriend who’s name was Edz. Around 6am he woke up Edz for he has a class and then we had breakfast. Edz was only 18 years old, moreno, I think he was 5’7” tall and slim and he was silent the whole time. After the breakfast, I bid goodbye to both of them and took a jeepney to Cubao where I rode the bus home. On the bus, Edz texted me saying sorry for not speaking during the breakfast adding that he was just tired and sleepy. Then Scott texted me saying Edz liked me. Whuaaaat?! I told Scott to remind his boyfriend that he was attached. Hahaha. Well, Scott told me that it was okay if his bf fucks other guys as long as he don’t fuck other foreigners. That was one of their agreements.

Stayed home the whole Monday, watched TV, and slept. Come Tuesday, I uploaded some pictures at flickr.com (check my flickr badge on the right side) and also updated my Friendster account. I also made some wallpapers for my phone. Finally installed Photoshop CS in my computer after my brother reformatted the PC and edited some of the pics.

@ Kamiseta waiting for Aphol to finish her shopping

@ Hepalane deciding what to eat for lunch

Mark, TL Miren and Me going to Pork Barrel

Mark, TL Irene and Me @ Binalot

Mark, Rhone and me @ Binalot

Around 11pm, had phone sex with Carl and then stayed in the room and jacked off for the second time. I still couldn’t sleep so I went to 7-11 and bought me a can of Coke and a pack of Winston Lights. Stayed outside the house and smoked. Around 2am, a guy called asking me to come over his place because he was horny. AR (not his real name but I am giving you a hint. He is a blogger. :þ) picked me up at 7-11 and we went straight to his place. It was just a quickie and I headed straight home after. Still couldn’t sleep so I smoked again and afterwhich made more wallpapers for my phone.

Tried to sleep around 5am but I still couldn’t. Until my sister woke up to prepare for school and she was making too much noise that made it a lot a harder to fall asleep. When she left, I was already hungry so I decided to make breakfast (whoooah!). Ginisang sardinas at pritong itlog. I also had coffee and smoked after then decided that I was not gonna fall asleep at home so I took a shower and headed straight to work. Arrived around 9am (weird, the traffic was fine except of course the hassle of the crowded MRT) at work. Everyone was surprised to see me and I told them my story of not being able to sleep. And now it’s 10minutes before 1pm and I am still typing this blog. After this I am gonna try to sleep for 1 and a half hours in the sleeping lounge.

So if you see any errors (typo or otherwaise) forgive me. I just wanna sleep.

07 August 2006

Here I Go Again

Guess what? I am still at work. Scott has already texted me if I'm still planning to go to his hotel. I said I have pending paperworks to finish before I go on day off tomorrow. I lied. The truth is I am waiting for Mark and the rest of my officemates to logout because we are going to Meat Shop in Katipunan where Luis is currently getting everyone drunk. Nahhh. Just kidding. Luis is celebrating his birthday there with some of our officemates.

But part of me wants to go to Scott's. He said his boyfriend is staying until 6am there. Yeah he has a Filipino boyfriend who alledgedly is super cute and yummy. The idea of hooking up with him is making me WANT to go there instead. But I have already waited too long for Mark.

Back-up plan: (here I go again planning) If I don't like the crowd in Meat Shop, I might go straight to Scott's. He said he's gonna stay up late tonight... errr... this morning.

Anyways, I will be on off so I might not be able to post anything. So here's these beautiful guys to entertain you while I am gone. Choose which number you like most! Leave your choice in the comments section. Enjoy!










*Images are from websites online. If you are the owner of the pics and don't want 'em to appear here, kindly indicate it in comments and I will promptly delete them.

06 August 2006

Plans, Plans, Plans
I am a Terrible Planner

I dunno if this is just one of those days but I am beginning to be bored with my blog’s template. I still love the name of my blog IAMBREW though. It’s just that I want to see it spicier and more alive, if you know what I mean. So as soon as I get a leave from work, I’ll allot time to make a new template, review my codes and check new codes. Probably I’ll change most of the colors. But it’s still an idea. I ain’t even sure if it will happen. Probably this feeling of boredom will pass. Who knows.

It’s my last day at work. That is for this week. Haha. I am not resigning. Not yet. But I got plans probably early next year. And still that’s a plan. And I know myself better that anyone else. I am not a good planner. Back in college, I used to have a lot of planners, every color and design that comes out of National Bookstore. But I never use them. I write something like birthdates and anniversaries and future plans but I never follow them. Haha.

I got this invite to go to Stonehouse Hotel along E Rodriguez later after my shift. Scott’s his name. An american who’s been texting me for quite sometime now. I met him while chatting. He’s old by the way and he is a FRIEND. Nothing more nothing less. I kinda agreed to go there but I ain’t sure where the place is. It’s sill a plan. I dunno if I’ll go or not.

04 August 2006

Please Say Anything

I look at you straight in the eye hoping to find the answers.
Somewhere in your face I try to find clues that will lead me to the truth.
You laid there still and naked, but everything just seems so blurred.
Must be the flashes of memory blocking all of my senses.

I try so hard to convince you to talk, almost begging
But I see no traces that you even care
Not even smirk, a smile, or a bow from you
Seems like you are never there.

I still wonder whatever happened to what we had
You used to be the nicest thing
Now I am like talking to a thin air only your in flesh
But that’s it, just a flesh I can touch; but I can never feel…

Anyways, here are some gorgeous men for you. Slurp!

*All images have been taken from the web. If you are the owner of the pics and don't want them to appear here, please send me an email and they will be deleted. Thanks.

03 August 2006

Sweetness Carlo

After my shift last night, I went straight to Quattro in Timog to meet some of my officemates. Chit also wanted to introduce me to her boyfriend. This meant I had to cancel a sexcapade last night. Hahaha...

When I got there, Rhoni, her boyfriend, two other gay guys (one of which I thought was a lesbian), Chit and her bf were in the corner of the bar drinking beer in macho mugs. I got myself a mug of Strong Ice and enjoyed myself puffing my cigarette.

Carlo, Chit’s bf, is not bad at all. In fact he is cute. He has chinky eyes, good built and he’s only 18. I kinday envy Chit because she has a very cute straight boyfriend. Yes, Chit is gay. And she dresses like a girl.

When the bar called for last orders, and there were only two tables occupied in that side of the bar, the band stopped palying songs. But this guy (I think he’s from the band) went to the piano behind us. Carlo requested for a song and he sang it to Chit. Super kilig, that’s all I could say. Carlo is the sweetest. But Chit seemed nonchalant about her bf’s effort. I am not sure why though. Must be the alcohol sinking in.

During the time I was looking at the two lovebirds, I couldn’t help but feel sad. I suddenly remembered that it has been almost 6 months since my last relationship. SIX MONTHS!!! Yet it all seems like yesterday. The pain still lingers inside and the memory still occupies ¾ of my being.

Went home around 3 in the morning, took a quick shower and slept. Or did I?

02 August 2006

Sunday, Monday & Tuesday

Whoow! I was taken into a whirlwind these past few days. A lot has happened. So this post is gonna be a juxtaposition of the events that happened to me and to some other people around me. I’ll be sorting them by day so you won’t get confused.

I was on my way home and as usual, I took a bus from Cubao Edsa to Novaliches C5. don’t get me wrong, I don’t live in Novaliches but the bus passes by Mindanao Ave where our subdivision is. As always I wa seated in the left side of the bus, usually it’s a three-seater. Adjacent me, near the exit was a drunk guy who laid motionlessly occupying the whole two-seater seat with just enough space for the right cheek of another passesnger’s butt. There weren’t too many people ‘coz it was a weekend and it was around midnight. At the back of the drunk guy was this other guy, only older. When the engine started, the older guy fit himself beside the drunk guy. It was nothing at first. I even thought they knew each other. But when I saw the older guy trying to remove the drunk guy’s watch, I was shocked. That was the first time I saw such incident. Of course, it is common especially during that time but of all the years I was riding the bus, that was the first time I actually saw it is being done. As soon as the older guy got the watch, he stepped off the bus and walked as if nothing happened. I lookes at my back and saw a pregnant woman also staring at the drunk guy. I let a small sigh, she followed after.

During the time that the crime was happening, there were a lot that were going through my mind. I caught myself asking ”Should I get off the bus and ride another one?” But that would be too obvious. The snatcher might run after me or follow me. ”Should I wake up the drunk guy?” But I was scared because the snatcher might try to kill me or something…

Right after the snatcher left the bus, I felt a tinge of guilt inside me. I condone acts like this yet I let it happen right in front of me when I was able to do something to have stopped it. I have almost been a victim of such acts. I was riding a bus to work and along Edsa there was this guy who seated beside me. I was a bit sleepy back then. The next thing I knew the guy’s hand was in my pocket trying to reach for my cellphone. I so wanted to punch him for trying to steal my cell but I did not. What I did was I looked him straight on his face while my hand reach my pcket and got my cellphone out and put it inside my bag. He left the bus after.

Crazy people.

Me and and three other officemates watched Sukob at Gateway cinema. The movie was good I must say though I didn’t like the ending that much. It must be because Kris died in the end. The crowd in the cinema were so funny and ecstatic. Imagine, on the very onset of the movie where Star Cinema just came out of the screes, people were already shouting. They must have been so scared with the Star Cinema’s logo. But I doubt it that’s the case. The movie hype must have had that much effect on them. But in whole, I liked the movie. After the movie, Anne dropped me off at SM North and I met up with Takeshi (the Japanese guy). We talked for a while at Bo’s Coffee Club and then I decided to go home. Takeshi came back to his friends in Coffee Ex.

Later that night, I met Erwin (the eskinita guy) at his place for a quick fuck. We did it while standing just outside their house. After that I went home and slept.


I went to Dino’s place (the guy from guys4men) for lunch. He invited me to have sex. The exact thing he said was, “Namimiss ko nang makipagSex sayo eh…” I was so hungry then ‘coz there were no food at home and noone to cook since I don’t cook so I decided to go to his place instead. He cooked ginisang sardinas as per my special request. Wahehehe. I went their in my borad shorts and my jacket zipped up to my neck since it was a bit cold that day. After the meal, we decided to watch a movie. We watched Transamerica. It is a movie about a transexual guy who a week before his operation got a call from his son. I won’t spoil the movie because I REALLY LIKED IT. The actress who played the role of the gay guy (yes, it was a woman), according to Dino was nominated for Oscars. She was also one of the housewives in the series Desperate Housewives. The guy who played as the gay guy’s son (Kevin Zevers) was also gorgeous! I just love him. And he reminded me a lot of Robbie when he got his hair colored. I almost cried watching the movie. Hayyy. YOU MUST WATCH IT!

More of Kevin Zevers...

Went home around 9pm and went online. Ryan (Maw) sent me a message in my YM. The conversation ended up to a meeting around midnight earlier. He picked me up at Simplicity along Commonwealth. The original plan was we were gonna have coffee at Starbucks in the Convergy’s building but it was already closed so we decided to go to our usual spot, Baang Coffee in Timog (or is it Tomas Morato. I don’t really know).

He had Uncle Sam’s and a frap while I had their hot chocolate with marshmallows. We talked about phone’s, about our lives, about his work and mine and about the past. But the topic I tried so hard to avoid, and I was successful, was the story of how he met his current bf of 10months. Ouch! But it’s all in the past. We are okay now. We are not friends but we get along just fine. When I got home that night I texted him to say thanks. He wanted to see me again but I am still thinking about it. Wahehehe.

And oh before I forgot, right after Ryan dropped me off along Commonwealth corner of Tandang Sora where I took a cab home, I saw these two parents standing in the corner looking for their daughter. I stayued a while and gathered some information about what happened. According to the taxi drivers I was able to talk with, the girl who was in Grade 4 was missing since 1pm that day (which was technically yesterday since it was early morning that time). Scary huh? I was scared. I have a sister and I kinda got worried. That part of QC is known to be dangerous since there are lots of squaters or politically speaking “illegal settlers.” I really got frightened at the thought of what might have happened to that girl. I hope they already found her. Hayyy…

*all images in this post came from Google.com

All Rights Reserved March 2007
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2010 - Wow! I can't believe this blog is already 4 years old! I would like to thank everyone has been so nice to me and my blog. I am really happy that there are people out there who can relate to my life.

January 24, 2010 - I met this guy online who inspired me to write/blog again. To Sal, thank you for the inspiration. I owe you one.

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I am a frustrated artist who finds refuge in bitterness and solitude. Angst is what I speak and love is what I hide. I never want to be seen naked for in nakedness there is truth and truth I am afraid of. Reality never seems to be fair, life in fact is iniquitous.

I like to put up a facade like a masked man in a party. I like to exude and air of mystery and fear. For in fear I earn respect and respect I treasure.

I like to play God once in a while, controlling the people who surround me. I love to twist emotions and bring out the insides.

I have found love but it left me suddenly for reasons until now I do not understand. He pierced right through everything that is me and left a broken arrow in my heart. But I let that happen because I loved him so sincerely. If there was a time I really loved someone, it would be that time. He rocked my world; sadly, he rocked me to my death.


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