29 June 2006

It's My Day Off

Im so sleepy. It’s halfway my shift and I cannot wait to log off already and feel my soft bed and the cold wind wrapping my body to Neverland. But I am not going straight home after. I have my APE (Annual Physical Exam) around 8am at Borough’s today. This is required by the company and the deadline’s this week. I was thinking of not doing it but according to my supervisor, agents who will not undergo the physical exam will be gravely penalized. In short, I will be issued a CITE as what we call it here. It’s like a memo for agents not following the code of conduct or something. I had two issued to me last year; one for releasing a call and the other for my excessive absences. Haha… I hung up on a customer because she was shouting and swearing at me. But that’s a different story.

So it’s already my day off today until tomorrow. I’ve got no plans still. I was planning to invite Bern out but I changed my mind. After Saturday, he didn’t text me as much and didn’t even return most of my messages. He texted me last night saying he was just busy with school but I could feel he just ain’t interested. Why are people like that? Why don’t they just tell it straight like “I don’t like you” or something? Why sugarcoat? And why let something happen when they’d change their minds after? And I don’t think I’m bad in bed. I haven’t had any complaints before. So I therefore conclude he’s not interested. So off he goes from my phonebook. Bern is PERIOD. Gone!

But I don’t have any grudges against him. It’s he’s choice really and I respect that.

Well, enough about him. I might go shopping this Friday to relieve myself of this stress and the heartache I almost incurred. Good thing I gathered myself up before that happened. I plan to buy myself a pair of jeans, that couture pants I have been dying to have (if I could find one) and pro’ly a pair of shades since I gave Mike the recent one I purchased. Hahaha…

And oh, I’ll watch Superman Returns, Fast and Furious, and others. Movie marathon, here I come!

26 June 2006

White Party - Before and After

Here's what I did before the party while @ work. Hahaha...

So here's what happened at the White Party. I am sure you've been wanting to know what transpired. So here it goes.

I arrived there around midnight and to my surprise there were so many people. It was like all the gay guys in the metro had came out and celebrated their gayhood in one single night at one single place named Orosa Napkil in Malate. There were a street party and everyone was sweaty and dancing. Though not most were in white but still people felt at home kissing at every corner, shouting their lungs out and drinking bottles after every bottles of beer. It was like the party was forever.

Vincent, Dion and Carlo at the party...

My friends were in Sonata and going there was literally a hassle. I mean it was really hard pushing yourself against the crowd. I was holding really tight to my bag afraid somebody might just snatch it from my bod. Hahaha. You know, precautions. Malate has been famous for cellphone snatching and stuff. It's better to be safe.

After Sonata we stayed at Music Motion where I ate and had a couple of beers and a can of coke for the finale. Outside people were going crazy because some guy was showing off naked from the window of the second floor of Top and Bottom. I never saw it though. I was busy eating.

There were also some people who wore costumes. I saw a couple with angels' wings, and then a couple of fat guys in a snowy costume - more like the snow queen in Narnia. Hahaha. There was also this gay guy who wore fans or as we call it abaniko like a gown. She was magnificent though. Everyone was really creative with their customes.

Ice Queen. Hahaha. Reminds me of Narnia... only fatter...

Look at the crowd. Seems like all the gay people in the Metro was here... Hahaha...

If you can only see the vocalist. He's so fucking cute... Yumyum!

Bern was there as well. He's this cute guy I have been wanting to meet. I knew him through Lexan. Saw his webpage from Lexan's links. He was at the party so we decided to meet. I saw him first standing in one corner. I smiled. Just smiled. He's too cute and I didn't think he'd like me.

I also met guitar_kid. Hahaha. One of my fellow bloggers here and a frequent visitor as well.

Seeing Bern wasn't enough so I asked him if we could talk. He said yes. So I left my friends and met him somewhere. After talking to his friends, we decided to leave the party and go to his pad. We passed by Jolibbee and ordered take-out. We ate at his place...

Got home around 7 in the morning. Was really tired and sleepy from the party that I slept the whole Sunday. I woke up earlier around 4 in the morning and haven't slept since. I left the house around 8 in the morning and headed to Malen's house where we watched Simone (for the nth time) while having lunch. Afterwhich I headed to Gateway hoping to watch a movie to kill time but I found myself having coffee at Starbucks.

Around 4pm, since I have nothing better to do, I headed to Eastwood at roamed around the mall. I saw this pair of earrings at Cleo's so I bought meself those, put 'em on and headed here in the office. I think I'll sleep in the lounge until around 10pm just in time for my shift @ 11pm. Hayyy...

Anyways, I have already posted the pics I owe this blog from my previous posts. You can now view 'em.
Xander at Bo's
Meeting An Old Friend

24 June 2006

Xander @ Bo's

As promised...

God! Seems like the heavens got mad at humanity today. It poured tons of water down to earth along with thunders and lightnings. Scary really. I just hope it stops asap for there is a white party at Malate later. I am planning to go there along with Mark and some friends. But I don’t have an outfit for the affair. I’ll rummage through my clothes later and hope I can come up with something white. Hahaha…

Last night after my shift I met up with Xander, another long lost friend. We knew each other from this clan that I was with last year. It was called C4M (Cubicle for Men). It was composed of gay guys that were using SUN. Xander was one of the four friends I have had grew close with.

Xander @ Downelink.com

We met at Bo’s after my shift and had coffee and a long overdue conversation about love lives, relationships, the clan and stuff.

Seems like recently I have been meeting old friends. This maybe a good thing. I mean I have lost contact to most of my friends I don’t even know what happened to them. I don’t have an idea where they are right now much more there cellphone numbers. Xander gave me an update of our friends Rocky, Dion and Aldrin. We used to call ourselves CINCO, a clan within a clan. Hahaha. During the three months that I was jobless I was with them almost everyday. And our fave drink – Emperador. Yes, we were drunkards and it was fun. We somehow drifted from each other when I started working. There wasn’t as much time to meet thus texting was all that connected us. But since I lost my cellphone, thanks to my stupidity, I lost track of them and most of my friends.

We went home around 10 in the evening and the next thing I knew I was asleep, soundly.

I am at work right now. Shift starts at 2pm and end at 11pm…

Well, hope the weather cooperates… It’s Pink month this June and every gay guy should be out and enjoying… Hahaha… How about you? Are you out and proud?

{To be edited}
Got pictures form last night. Will post ‘em soon.

Just bought a cap and a jacket from Hallway. Gonna wear it later. They're not white though. I am gonna be all-brown later. Hahaha... Well maybe my shirt will be. I am still going to see.

23 June 2006

Meeting With An Old Friend

Right after work yesterday I hurriedly headed to Makati to meet an old friend. Along the way we decided where to meet excatly through sms. He got there first and he decided McDonalds at Glorieta would be the spot. I agreed.

As promised. Mark and me at Starbucks Greenbelt 3...

Nempsie, Allan Rey and Mark aka Mong... This picture was taken the last time they met. Too bad I wasn't there. I read the invite too late... (courtesy of Mark's Friendster)

Mark or famously known as Mong was a long-time friend, more like a childhood friend. We have been classmates since the third grade and the entire high school. We were close friends. Why Mong? Hmmm... Well, remember the post I had regarding MOCC where during the training we were given tag names? Mine was Pinokyo and his' was Mong. I really don't know what it means but it kinda stuck to him. Everyone started calling him Mong and even his friendster says Mong. Hahaha...

Actually the meeting was long due. Eversince he got here in Manila he had been texting me to meet him and the rest of our friends. I kinda drifted away from "the rest of our friends." I don't remember what exactly happened. Probably I grew out of it - the cheesiness of high school and stuff. I felt there were a lot of pretensions going on. But Mark, after high school moved to Iloilo where he studied Accountancy at UP Visayas. After graduation he went here to study for his board exams (good thing journalism studs don't have to go through with this... thank god!) and after six months he started working at SGV (or was it SVG--not really sure), an accountancy firm in Makati.

Yesterday morning, I was checking my Friendster and I saw a message from him inviting me to join him, Allan Rey and Nempsie on a night out. I was not exactly sure what it was but I read it too late. In my Yahoo I saw several messages from him the last having an attachment of their picture while on that "night out." (the pic above)

So I got his number and texted him that I was free yesterday after work though I haven't had sleep.

I stayed outside McDonalds and sent him a message and then out of nowhere this small guy in a corporate outfit (with a tie) came rushing to me with a big smile on his face. It was Mark. His face didn't change. He's still that adorable being that he was back in highschool -- only in longsleeves and a tie. We had dinner at KFC (I hate their chicken bbq btw) and headed to Greenbelt 3 and had coffee at Starbucks. We talked some more about what I have missed during the times that I was unofficially AWOL from the high school batch. Hahaha. And of course, being the nosy me, I couldn't help but ask about who in the batch has families and kids already. The journalist in me, I always have this apetite for news. (or chismis)...

After coffee we headed to Absynthe (tama ba spelling?) upstairs and had a bottle of beer. The conversation went from me telling all that happened to me (e.g. past relationships, sex epxeriences, college stories, work stuff etc) to me asking him how his lovelife is. He instantly said he didn't have one. Never had one infact. So I said, "Don't tell me you're still a V-I-R-G-I-N?!" He said no. He didn't want to tell me the story though. But I'll get out from him one way or another. Hahaha...

We are meeting again on Saturday pro'ly with other friends. Hmmm... I am thinking of Malate. I wonder if they'll be agreeable to that...

{still to be edited}
I had no time to upload our pics from last night but I promise to post them as soon as I can...

22 June 2006

…and then I withdrew

This post should have been here May 25 but I forgot about it till now. I was checking my blog posts folder and found this piece. This was also the last time I had sex. God! Tagal na pala... Read on...

… we started kissing, softly at first enjoying each other’s lips while our heads turn right and left. Then it got harder. Our tongues fought like swords trying to control each others. Once in a while we were interrupted by people and vehicles passing by but once the coast was clear our sensual dance continued. We were outside their house just in front of their gate. His mom was awake inside preparing breakfast I think not knowing his youngest son was playing fire outside.

Brokeback Mountain -- just can't get ovet it...

He then knelt and gently pulled my pants down while looking at me straight in the eyes like asking for permission. I just looked at him with excitement. He pulled my boxers down as well and released the angry being that was fighting its way out since we started kissing. He held its body tight while he licked the head slowly savoring its taste (if there was). I let out a sigh then another sigh as he gently took the whole of me inside his hot watery mouth. I tried not to make too much noise but containing the pleasure was unbearable. I threw head back and closed my eyes as he continued what he was doing. I had no intentions of making him stop but another vehicle required us to do so.

We went inside their garage and this time it was my turn to take him whole. I pulled his shorts down along with his undies. I was not disappointed. His cock was above average as well. I licked his mushroom and slowly took him whole. After a while I stood up to catch his lips. He was a marvelous kisser and I loved his lips-soft and plump. And then we heard some noise coming from inside the house that stopped us. It was his mom doing her daily chores at 3 in the morning. I sat down on the floor so the car behind us would cover us from his mother’s view if ever she comes out the door. He continued sucking me, taking me whole while I guide his head to paradise.

With one big clang, the window on the second floor opened followed by a blinding white light. Someone had opened it and we were afraid that someone saw us. We hurriedly got out of the garage to the road while I laughing and he catch his breath. He was scared his mom saw us. We walked a little bit and saw a small opening from one of the other houses. He said it was his cousin’s. The little room was dark with panels of wood and junk inside. We barely fit standing and still everyone could see us from outside. But the show must go on and it did. Kissing, sucking until he whispered, gusto ko magpafuck. That got me really turned on and I asked him to face the wall. I hurriedly pulled his shorts down revealing his two cute buns and my fingers found its way to his hole. I asked him to lubricate my cock by sucking it. He complied. My hands guided my cock to his hole and I pushed gently until I could feel the head inside him, hot yet inviting. He let out a beautiful sigh and hardened me even more. I continued. Once inside I pushed a little bit more stayed there and kissed him. Then I withdrew, pushed, pulled, pushed and pulled. It was heaven. I hugged him from behind whispering “ang sarap mo!” then I push and pulled until I reached orgasm. I stayed inside him while we kissed for the last time. I hugged him and said thank you before finally getting my cock out of him. He thanked me back.

He hailed a cab for me and he headed home. Until now I don’t if his mom caught us. But one thing I do know, he was a good fuck.

It was around 5 in the morning when I finally retreated to bed. Around 2 in the afternoon I was at work with a big smile on my face.

20 June 2006

I Am Thankful For…

Nothing changed. I still have colds. The coughing lessened though and somehow I am thankful for that.

Talking about something to be thankful about, I have lots. Yes, my life ain’t particularly sunny at all times but it ain’t dark clouds and rain as well.

Here are things I am thankful about:

(1) My parents – I haven’t been exactly the greatest son they would have wanted to have but amidst that, they still love me. I know that as a fact. My mom would always send me bible verses (being the religious woman that she is) and would always say how she and papa love me… and my siblings of course. I have nothing to complain really.

(2) My job – Although I hate my job, I am still thankful I have one. You see, a lot of people are jobless and basing it from experience it is really hard to get one nowadays.

(3 My education – I am happy I graduated from the premiere university of the country. The best days of life. I am happy I met my friends, real cool professors and the opportunities the school have provided me. The school also shed light to who I really am. GAY. Hahaha. You see, it was in college when I finally FULLY accepted that I am gay and that there’s nothing wrong with being one. Thanks to Marj, my blockmate.

(4) My friends – Have lots of them from all places, online and otherwise. They give me hope and strength when I need it the most, they are just there even if I am not exactly the bestest friend one can have and most of all, they let me be ME, no questions asked. And of course, those friends include you guys! A dosage of insanity from you everyday is just awesome!

(5) Me being GAY - Yes. Believe it or not I am thankful and really happy that I am gay. Don’t you? Why hide under a cloak of bisexuality when you can be all out? I mean, there is definitely nothing wrong with being gay. Everytime someone asks me how I am I always tell them Ito, bading pa rin.. or Ito, virgin pa rin… Accepting that you are gay doesn’t make you less human. Being gay is being happy with who you really are…

(6) And lastly for that someone above - Yes. I still believe that there is someone more powerful than us. It may be God or what-have-you but without faith, we are nothing. It’s our faith that makes us bear the unbearable, believe the unbelievable and take the pain of this sad, bitter earth. I don’t go to church though. Institutions such as the church puts too much restrictions on how you live your life. And I don’t want to be restricted. I can decide on my own, thank you. And I think I am capable of knowing what is right from wrong. But that’s a diff story.

And oh, I almost forgot, BLOGGER. I am thankful for the free and amazing service. Wahehehe…

So how about you? What are you thankful for?

18 June 2006

My Colds, Mike and a New Phone

Whooow! I miss my blog! And I have a lot to tell you guys. Sorry for the long wait. It has just been a busy and tiring week.

It was my first day to take in calls for Refunds (remember the training last week?) and I got so sick and really scared. Refunding Traveler’s Cheque cards for customers is not an easy thing and the call could last for hours.

I got so sick from yesterday so I didn’t go to work. Stayed home and watched Dvd’s until my eyes became droopy. I slept late.

It was my day off and I stayed home and soaked in my limp and sick body. But I was feeling a bit better. My colds just made it hard to breathe and the feeling was really uncomfy.

Around 3am I went to Malen’s house and got drunk with her boyfriend. This was the first time I tasted Cossak vodka (did I get the spelling right?). And sure enough iba nga ang lipad… kung saan saan ako dumapo. Wahehehe… Didn’t go home as well. Woke up early from getting drunk, pro’ly around 7am meaning I didn’t have enough sleep. Pro’ly the vodka kicked my butt to get up. Played solitaire downstairs when Mike (my current crush) went down and invited me to jog outside. But we did no jogging. We just stayed in his car and played some music. A little after, I asked him to accompany me home so I could take a bath and change outfits. We did not directly go back. We made rounds first and drunk buko juice. When we got back to Malen’s apartment, she and her boyfriend were already up. Mike went home as well and the rest of us went to Greenhills to do some shopping. When we got home, Mike’s ex-girlfriend was there cooking. When Mike showed up, we had dinner and he and her exgf went upstairs to sleep while me, Malen and her bf were contemplating whether to drink that night or not. We ended up with a couple of Red Horse—the big ones. Malen didn’t drink. She never does really.

Woke up early from getting drunk the night before. Played solitaire again downstairs and just like the day before Mike showed up and asked me if I wanted to stay outside and get some sun. He said it would be good for our bodies, especially mine. So we did near his car with some music on. When we got back to the house, the four of us (plus Lilo – Malen and Pj’s dog) decided to go to Mall of Asia and then they’d drive me to work. I agreed. We stayed there until around 6pm. We had coffee at Starbucks, checked out some shops, took pictures at a toy store where they had big toy animals and watched Gary V sing and dance. It was fun but at the same time really tiring. We went to Malate after and Malen and me went to Robinson’s to get some shoes since I was wearing flipflops which is prohibited at work. Pj and Mike were at some cheap straight bar drinking beer when we met them. I told them I’d leave in a couple of hours for work but they were literally begging me not to go to work anymore. Mike and Pj even knelt down begging me to stay. I wanted to go to work since I was already absent last Tuesday but Mike was just so irresistible. I decided to stay in one condition: we would be staying at Rainbow (where the gays are) after. They agreed but we only ate at Rainbow Project. Pj and Mike couldn’t wait to get out of the place after the dinner. So went back to that cheap straight bar until we decided to go home.

One thing about Mike, he drives his car like it was a racecar. Whenever he is provoked, he would take the challenge and race with other cars even if he has passengers. I noticed this the first time. And I warned him as well that I couldn’t take the speed. But he never listens.

On the way home, there was this yellow car, which overtook us, and Mike being himself, took speed, which left me ballistic with fear. On the next stop, I stepped out the car, slammed the door (I was really mad at him) and took me a cab amidst Pj and Malen’s plea to get in the car. I got home first and I waited for around ten minutes outside the apartment for the rest of the guys. But I couldn’t get myself to show Mike I was angry. But I made sure he knew I was terrified. I promised him I’d never ride in his car again. Ever!

But that promise was broken the following morning. Like the usual, he caught me playing solitaire and asked me to go with him outside. He said sorry and we ate breakfast. Then he offered to drive me home. Such a sweet gesture and I concurred.

Saturday continued…
I met Aphol at Glorieta after her French classes. I asked her to accompany me to buy a new phone. We had lunch at Sbarro and afterwhich we bought me a new phone. I was decided to go for the W800 but then I saw W810 and I fell inlove with it at first sight. Without hesitations, I got the phone amidst Aphol’s hesitation saying that there’s not much difference from W800 and that the price was so much. But my heart had had to be followed, or else I’d have nightmares.

Here’s my new phone. I am using the same number from SUN (’coz everything important is under the sun…)

Finally… a post…

13 June 2006

MOCC: On Punctuality

One hour more to go and I am outta here. My first day of Refunds after the training last week is about to be over and I CAN NOT WAIT. I mean it! I had like four calls and I sucked, big time. As in! Thank God for my friends. *does the sign of the cross

Anyways, I am not really feeling fine today. I have a very bad case of cold but I can not afford to be absent today. In fact, I do not want to be absent today. Attendance is really important to me and of course punctuality. I hate being late and definitely hate waiting. Patience is definitely not one of my virtues (if there are any).

I think this goes way way back in high school. It was my junior year and me and my friends (coz we thought it would be fun) joined the MOCC (or for other schools they called it CAT). It was one year training that was held every Saturday. Being on time was strictly implemented. And when I mean strictly I mean there were consequences if you were late.

5am – I wake up for the daily MOCC
6:45am – Formation and different drills begin. We also jog
around campus.
7:10am – Flag ceremony starts. It’s either I do the
drums for the morning exercise or I am one of the flag bearers or shouts
“Talupad na!” in a seemingly constipated manner so the students will start to
form a line for the ceremony. After the flag ceremony we have our last formation
for the morning. Here, we are briefed of things about the training and some
other stuff.
5:30pm – We have our afternoon formation that usually
lasts for an hour. Here we have some more drills and shouting and chanting and
the like. Our officers also give us duties or tasks like do their paper reports
for class, do their notebooks for the grading period, carry their bags and books
home and some other stuff we are not allowed to say no to. Sometimes a small
program is also conducted. We were made to sing or dance depending on the
officers’ mood.

During the weekend training, we were made to rappel from one end of the rope to another with a dirty and smelly fishpond under us while we had our rifles around our bodies. We ate square meals during lunch and sometimes dirty and uncooked food.

This was how my junior high school looked like. One year of training to become an officer. We also had this thing called Hell Week when we were made to dress up funny for one whole week and we were not allowed to change outfits for the whole time we were inside the campus. And our campus included both HS and College levels and was a huge campus. I remember wearing barong with a bayong as our school bags. Also we were made to jeans inside out and other crazy stuff, again, depending on the officers’ liking.

We also wore nametags. Mine was pinokyo. We had in front and on our back. Once inside the campus, we were supposed to double-walk meaning we had to walk faster (twice faster than the regular walking). Consequences awaited those who were caught not doing the double-walk. Every mistake came with punishments.

During our last training, we were maid to cover our bodies with mud, produce bubbles submerged to an irrigation tunnel, wear our co-trainees’ uniforms, share one piece of candy, and other gross stuff, again, depending on the officers’ demands.

After the one-year training, our positions were given to us during the graduation. And I became Lieutenant Commander for Alpha Company and under me were two platoons. I was also the fifth from the highest position during my senior year.

10 June 2006

On a Graveyard Shift

The training is finally gonna be over soon. They have sent out my new schedule for the next two weeks. My shift is gonna be from 11pm-8am MNL, Wednesday-Thursday off. I hate it. Yes you get to be paid extra for working on a graveyard shift but the stress is gonna eat all of you. I love my previous schedule which was 3pm-midnight. We call it MidShift. There are few calls and I can still go out to have fun after my shift since the fun usually begins after midnight especially in malate. But with the schedule that I am going to have, there is definitely no room for fun. My social life is gonna go down the drain. *swooosh!...

So I just had my mock calls for Refunds. The two calls were quite easy compared with what I was expecting. But I think the real thing is gonna be a lot complicated and nose-bleeding. Hayyy...

I just can't wait to be on my day-off tomorrow. I am gonna rest the whole day. No plans for coffee or anything yet. Pro'ly enjoy a couple of movies or something. Hayyy...

Anyways, here's a pic I got from some website. Can't remember which. Feast your eyes.

Ain't these guys sweet?

{added -- 05:31AM June 10 MNL}
I am just so excited to go home now. And I am feeling a bit hungry. Pro'ly will eat first when I go out the office. Or maybe a bottle of beer like yesterday will do the trick. Wahaha...

08 June 2006

Unannounced Hiatus

Whoow! I am really getting tired with this training. We’re on our fourth day today and my sanity is slowly failing me. And to make matters worse, I think my body is too. Argh! Just the other day while riding the MRT my nose bled leaving droplets of my precious blood on my polo. Good thing I brought my hanky and I noticed it right away. I threw away my hanky after!

Now my head is aching and I am so sleepy. But I had nine hours of sleep! I even wasn’t able to jack off when I went to bed earlier for I was so tired and sleepy. In short, pleasure would have to be on hiatus as well while I am on this training. Argh!

And guess what? This training that I am going through, this is for an additional split and this is way harder than my regular calls. This is Refunds. And this does not come with an additional compensation. It’s like an added work with no extra pay! And they say we should be flattered because the company is trusting us with this job because our supposedly PSDM (Problem-Solving and Decision-Making skill) is high. PSDM my arse!

I so want to resign now. If only I had that luxury. Hayyy…

06 June 2006

A Tribute to NICE Guys...

To the Nice Guys...

This rant was written for the Wharton Undergraduate Journal.

This is a tribute to the nice guys. The nice guys that finish last, that never become more than friends, that endure hours of whining and bitching about what assholes guys are, while disproving the very point. This is dedicated to those guys who always provide a shoulder to lean on but restrain themselves to tentative hugs, those guys who hold open doors and give reassuring pats on the back and sit patiently outside the changing room at department stores. This is in honor of the guys that obligingly reiterate how cute/beautiful/smart/funny/sexy their female friends are at the appropriate moment, because they know most girls need that litany of support. This is in honor of the guys who respect a girl's every facet, from her privacy to her theology to her clothing style.

This is for the guys who escort their drunk, bewildered female friends back from parties and never take advantage once they're at her door, for the guys who accompany girls to bars as buffers against the rest of the creepy male population, for the guys who know a girl is fishing for compliments but give them out anyway, for the guys who always play by the rules in a game where the rules favor cheaters, for the guys who are accredited as boyfriend material but somehow don't end up being boyfriends, for all the nice guys who are manipulated, misled and unjustly abandoned this is for you.

This is for that time she left 40 urgent messages on your cell phone, and when you called her back, she spent 3 hours painstakingly dissecting 2 sentences her boyfriend said to her. And even though you thought her boyfriend was a chump and a jerk, you assured her that it was all ok and she shouldn't worry about it. This is for that time she interrupted the best killing spree you'd ever orchestrated in GTA3 to rant about a humor that romantically linked her and the guy that she thinks is the most repulsive person in the world. And even though you thought it was immature and you had nothing against the guy, you paused the game for 2 hours and helped her concoct a counter-humor to spread around the floor. This is also for that time she didn't have a date, so after numerous vows that there was nothing serious between the two of you, she dragged you to a party where you knew nobody, the beer was awful, and she flirted shamlessly with you, justifying each fit of reckless teasing by announcing to everyone: oh, but we're just friends! And even though you were invited purely as a symbolic warm body for her ego, you went anyways. Because you're not like that.

The nice guys don't often get credit where credit is due. And perhaps more disturbing, the nice guys don't seem to get laid as often as they should. And I wish I could logically explain this trend, but I can't. From what I have observed on campus and what I have learned from talking to friends at other schools and in the workplace, the only conclusion I can form is that many girls are just illogical manipulative *itches. Many of them claim they just want to date a nice guy, but when presented with such a specimen, they say irrational, confusing things such as , oh he's too nice to date, or he would be a good boyfriend but not for me or he already puts up with so much from me, I couldn't possibly ask him out! or the most frustrating of all: no, it would ruin our friendship. Yet they continue to lament the lack of datable men in the world, and they expect their nice too-nice-to-date male friends to sympathize and apologize for the men that are jerks. Sorry guys, girls like that are beyond my ability to fathom. I can't figure out why the connection breaks down between what they say (I want a nice guy) and what they do (I'm going to sleep with this complete jerk now). But one thing I can do, is say that the nice- guy- finishes- last phenomenon doesnt last forever. There are definitely many girls who grow out of the reainof thought and realize they should be dating the nice guys, not taking them for granted. The tricky part is, finding those girls, and even trickier, finding the ones that are single.

So until those girsl are found, I propose a toast to all the nice guys. You know who you are, and I know you're sick of hearing yourself described as ubiquitously nice. But the truth of the matter is, the world needs your patience in the dpeartment store, your holding open of doors, your party escorting services, your propensity to be a sucker for a pretty smile. For all the crazy, inane, absurd things you tolerate, for all the situations where you are the faceless, nameless hero, my acolades, my acknowledgment, and my gratitude go out to you. You do have credibility in this society, and your well-deserved vindication is coming..

This has been sent to me by an officemate. I like it. Hope you like it too.
Sorry if I can't post anything. I am just so busy right now with the training and all.
And I am really sorry if I haven't been visiting some blogs lately...
I miss that. I miss you guys and gals and all the in-betweens.

05 June 2006


I AM BACK! Wow! Seems like everyone is looking for me. Been quite busy with my day off. So here’s what happened:

So last Sunday Aphol and I went to Galleria and watched Da Vinci Code. I was a bit disappointed. Pro’ly because I was expecting more. I read the book and the book, like always is so much better. After having lunch at Red Ribbon (I hate their Black Forest cake) we dragged our asses to Greenhills.

I buy on impulse thus making me an impulsive buyer. I hate going around and checking things first before actually buying them. When I see something I want, I immediately buy it. And if I can’t I’d go crazy and not be able to sleep. I want to get what I want.

Our first stop was the shirt section. We looked for polo shirts that I can wear at work. The first polo shirt I saw was this pink tee with a small 7-up logo on the front and a bigger version on the side. I fell in love with it the first time I laid my eyes on that piece of clothing. The lady was offering it for 50 bucks less it’s original prize but Aphol still thought it’s too much so she convinced me to check other stores. So we passed by this store which sold accessories. I thought I’d like one so I went back and checked the items, tried some one and finally decided on this brown synthetic leather-made one about 3 inches wide. Then we found ourselves in a store which had bags. Aphol wanted to buy some kinda wallet for her passport so while she chose, I did my choosing as well. My eyes was stuck on this Gucci (fake) belt bag and I thought it would be sooo cool with my jeans so I got that and after some discussions on the prize, I bought it. Across the shop was a jeans store. Hmmm… On display were uber cool pants which cost more than a thousand bucks. When Aphol saw me with my eyes wide open with excitement, she dragged me and said that we should buy polo shirts first since that was what we originally went there for. And to my disappointment, when I checked my wallet my money wouldn’t be enough if I buy the pants. So I decided that would have to wait. After a few more roaming around, we finally saw some short-sleeved polos on display. I bought a pair and then I asked Aphol to bring me back to the first store with the pink polo shirt. I bought that one as well.

It was really tiring - walking and talking to sales ladies and then walking again. But I bought some pretty neat stuff. We also checked some phones but I had this conception that when a phone is bought from Greenhills, it’s either second-hand or some parts of it have been replaced already. So I decided I was not gonna buy my phone there. But I am going back to Greenhills 'coz I saw some shops (too late) which sells really cool shirts and pants like the ones from People are People only cheaper. Those shirts and pants were so gay... Hahaha... And the shop was so gay. I love it. I think it was called Structure, if I remember it right.

It was around 6pm when we finally decided to part ways since she would go to mass and I had an appointment with a long lost friend and her super cute boyfriend.

By the way, I spend the night in my friend’s house. Was supposed to get drunk but her boyfriend was sick. They are inviting me again this Saturday. Hmmm…

My shift changed since I am on training. I am on graveyard MNL shift. Hayyy… Gotta go!

02 June 2006

The Thing With Falling InLove is…

The thing with falling in love is that it just happens. It is something beyond your control. You see him and then you start talking to him and then you fall. You do not realize it first. You become friends, watch movies together, have coffee and eat dinner with him. Then your friends start asking what it is between the two of you and you simply say the overused phrase we-are-just-friends-period. But then he starts dating some other guy. You know you should be supportive, be happy for him, give him sound advices and you do. Actually you try. Then a tinge of pain comes out from within. Your hands become sweaty, your heart beats faster and the lines on your face appears. You fell uncomfortable joining him in his happiness. Happiness that you feel you should be part of. Then you feel guilty for being so selfish. You are just friends anyway, you tell yourself. But somehow it is so hard to accept. Then a friend slaps you with reality saying you are in love. You retaliate by saying it is impossible but deep down you start believing. Yes, you are inlove. And there’s no getting out.

Then without asking, you drift away from him, not returning his phone calls, not showing up on your regular coffee dates. You begin to be tired or busy with work but you know its all stories. Stories you made up just to avoid him for you know you’d get hurt.

You know you should tell him the truth but you begin to have reservations. You know he’s happy with the other guy and it would be stupid to ruin that by confessing your love for him. Then you try to direct your attention to someone else, trying so desperately to escape the fact that your heart cries him. But you don’t listen to those cries, in fact you have sex with other men just to prove to yourself you can move on, that what you feel is just jealousy because his attention is not yours anymore. You convince yourself that it’s not love. Then you have more sex with strangers, even trying to be in a relationship with one of them. But the relationship fails because your heart is not there. Your heart won’t cooperate. It has its own mind. It is uncontrollable.

And then waste your life in bottles after bottles of beer. You go to Malate alone during your days off. You get drunk and go home with some guy you met at the dancefloor. Then you have sex with him and leave his pad in the morning and then you realize he is not your type. But you were too drunk to even care the night before.

Then one day you wake up wondering what you are doing with your life. You start seeking for help. Then after work you unknowingly pass by a church. You are hesitant to enter at first but still you do. You sit in one corner and face the edifce hanging on the wall. It is a wooden thing they call Jesus. You notice tears falling from your eyes. You let it. The feeling is overwhelming that you just let it flow like a bag of water which is suddenly released. You start to kneel and speak. You are talking to that edifice, asking for answers, questioning the world, questioning your entire being. After hours and hours of crying, talking to nobody, you suddenly feel lighter. Your burden suddenly disappears and then you notice it is already lunch time. Then you stand up and start to make your way out the church. The sun is up and your eyes are still wet from crying. Then you try to reach to your pocket for a hanky. You wipe your eyes with it and started heading for the road.

While you are fixing yourself, you hear a screech of a fast running car. You try to run away from it but it is too late. The next thing you know, you are dead. The news the following day contains a picture of your unrecognizable lifeless body on the frontpage, your face covered with a piece of newspaper while people are feasting around it.

And then he reads the newspaper. He knows about what happened to you. Then he starts crying. If only he told you how he really felt for you, that the guy he was “dating” was just his friend, that he was just dating him to make the guy’s exboyfriend jealous. He didn’t tell you this because he knew you’d think it’s ridiculous, that you would make fun of him. When he finally decided to tell you the truth, you are already gone. He feels betrayed by you but he loves you that much to get mad. Then he blames himself for what happened to you. If only he was honest. He cannot take the guilt and one night while drunk, he jumped off from a building. Dead.

Will You Date Me?

Okay. In line with MOVING ON, I am looking for a date this Sunday. Any takers? Hahaha…

Actually, Aphol and I are going to Greenhills to check out some phones. I plan to buy a new one in two weeks. I still don’t know what to get though. Pro’ly SE or the new Nokia series. Hmmm… And I also plan to get me some new polos and pants for work. Been wearing the same old clothes for almost three months. My wardrobe badly needs a major overhaul. I’ll pro’ly get me a pair of sneakers too. Shopping galore.

I owe it to Aphol actually. Last time I promised her we’d go to 168 but that didn’t push through and so did my other plans. But this time I am gonna make sure everything falls into place.

So I don’t have any plans Sunday afternoon so I am looking for someone who I can pro’ly watch movie with. Call it a date is you want but whatever, just be there.

Any takers? I am SERIOUS. Just drop me a line here so I can give you my mobile number.

Talk about work, Rome just got a new haircut. And I didn’t like it. Said he got it at FIX Katipunan. I almost freaked out seeing him sporting his hairdo. And I thought he’s being discreet about his true sexuality at work. With the new hair style, he’s giving it all away. He’s like a walking ad saying, “Come everyone. Fuck me” or something. Hahaha… I love him still though. Whatever happens, he’s still my friend.

We previously planned to go out at least once a week and for this week we planned to have it later but since his shift changed from midhift to morning, it made going out a bit difficult. So I guess the plan won’t go through tonight. *sigh!

And that date, you can start picking me up from work later. Hahaha… Kidding…

01 June 2006

Wanna See More (or Less)?

News Flash

(1) I finally have a temporary phone. I am planning to buy a new phone two weeks from now but that is still pending. I bought a SUN sim earlier. If you wanna get my number, you know what to do.

(2) All people who belong in midshift are wearing green. Planned it yesterday and now the Ops Area looks like a big garden. Hahaha… Morning shift peeps are wearing brown.

Woke up really early today (again). Had some banana cake at Starbucks for breakfast and spoke with Lexan over the phone the whole time. Got lots of info about his guys and about Khalel – the guy I once called angel. Turned to be not. And yes, I am bitter. Hahaha.

This post is going to be disorganized. Got nothing to post really.

Anyways, do you wanna see more of me? Visit my picturetrail. Want to se more (or less)? Ask for the password. Hahaha…

Check this POEM. This is the “about me” stuff. Made this just right after I broke with my Marvin-the first. Hope you like it.

All Rights Reserved March 2007
All images and designs are my property unless stated otherwise.

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Location: Quezon City, Philippines

2010 - Wow! I can't believe this blog is already 4 years old! I would like to thank everyone has been so nice to me and my blog. I am really happy that there are people out there who can relate to my life.

January 24, 2010 - I met this guy online who inspired me to write/blog again. To Sal, thank you for the inspiration. I owe you one.

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I am a frustrated artist who finds refuge in bitterness and solitude. Angst is what I speak and love is what I hide. I never want to be seen naked for in nakedness there is truth and truth I am afraid of. Reality never seems to be fair, life in fact is iniquitous.

I like to put up a facade like a masked man in a party. I like to exude and air of mystery and fear. For in fear I earn respect and respect I treasure.

I like to play God once in a while, controlling the people who surround me. I love to twist emotions and bring out the insides.

I have found love but it left me suddenly for reasons until now I do not understand. He pierced right through everything that is me and left a broken arrow in my heart. But I let that happen because I loved him so sincerely. If there was a time I really loved someone, it would be that time. He rocked my world; sadly, he rocked me to my death.


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