Charge it all to experience

The weather kinda sets the mood for some reminiscing. The cold air, the sound of raindrops as they touch the tim rooftop makes me wanna walk down memory lane and feel the past. I know, I should dwell on the past and that I should move on. But no matter how I tell myself I’d move on, I just can’t. It’s like I am stuck in a puddle of sticky mud swallowing me slowly until I couldn’t breathe. Okay, maybe that’s an exaggeration.

I was browsing my photobucket earlier and came upon some pictures that made me sigh, smile and cry. The drama queen in me…

This shot was taken by Ryan at Starbucks along Commonwealth. I think it was at Convergys building. We were eating at his favorite afterwork place, Tapa King. But the irony of it was I never saw him order Tapa King. He would always ask for Tapa Queen. I dunno the difference. I never liked tapa anyway.

Sigh.
He would always pick me up after in his Mazda 3 or Echo back then. We wpuld always fight on how late I went down the building and that he would circle Eastwood a couple of times to avoid parking since it costs a lot. But the make up sex always did the trick. We did it in his room, in the restroom, upside down, standing etc. I miss that. He was an adventurous guy and I loved him. In fact, he was the first ever boyfriend that saw me crying.

But he’s a prick! He left me for my friend 3 days after our first monthsary.



Marvin, my first ever boyfriend. The day of my college graduation we became official. Adorable. That was the word that would best describe him. He was the first guy I became serious with after hundreds or overnight fucks and meaningless utters or I love you’s. His was for real and I thought we’d be real for long. But no, he slapped me with the lamest excuse I’ve ever heard: ”I need time for myself… It’s not you, it’s me…” BULLSHIT! After him everything was just a game for me. And I hurt so many guys. It’s his fault!

Grrr…


And this was how I look like in college. Scary huh? I had long black fingernails, piercings all over my face and you’d see me in campus with my hair all spiked up. I even had a black skirt made with an inverted silver cross stiched in front. God, was I scary!

But I loved myself. FREEDOM was my thing and UP catered that.

But that ain’t the look I’ll be sporting anytime soon. Hahaha. I’ll leave that to experience. At least I had fun.

The morning after yesterday…

My morning ain’t as bitter as yesterday, thank God.

---

Hmmm… Cebu would be a good place to go, don’t you think. It has the feel of the province and the night life of the metro. I am even thinking of relocating there. Hahaha. Just kidding.

And you ask me. Why the sudden urge to go there? What, or more aptly, who is the reason?

His name is Alvin. He left me a message last night in my mobile. I asked him who he was phrased At sino ka naman? or something like that. I did not get a reply until this morning. So decided to call him up while I was having my daily dose of caffeine and nicotine shots.

He’s this 26-year old guy from Cebu, who owns a coffee shop in Mandawe (is that correct?). Plus, he is chinito. And you guys know how I feel about chinitos, right? They are the loves of my life. Hahaha.

I checked his pic as soon as I got to work today at picturetrail. I won’t give the address but here’s a little teaser…

But I am holding my horses down. I don’t want to be involved in a whirlwind love affair and get my heart all bruised after. And besides, I am not yet over the previous chinito boyfriend of mine… errr… EXBF. Plus I ain’t even sure if I am ready for another serious thing. SEX is good and there are so many guys in line still. Hahaha. Must accommodate ‘em all first before I settle. Or if the line stops, I’ll go look for some more. Hahaha…

So if you have referrals, just leave their numbers in my taggy. Wahahaha…

…and this has been your online prostitute, signing off… for now… I am waiting…

This Feeling Will Pass

Out of nowhere when I woke up today I suddenly have this urge to hug someone. Not that I have that morning woody or anything but something in me kinda hoped that a guy was beside me sleeping soundly until I would wake him up with a gentle kiss. I should stop watching those mushy movies…

Don’t you miss the feeling of being loved? The question popped out of nowhere. It was like there was a tiny sound from behind the wall, and it scared me. Of course, I miss that kind of feeling. Every single gay guy, I think, could attest to that.

I came out of my blanket, which was wrapped around my body, stood up and checked my phone. 7 messages from 7 different guys I haven’t even seen. Would that someone be one of them?

I don’t know. Maybe this feeling will pass. I am sure it will.

Robbie, I still love you and I am still hoping you’d come back. ;’(

Too many guys, too little time

Eversince I join g4m, invites have been coming from everywhere. Some guy even invited me to Davao. His message sounded like a tourism ad saying how beautiful Davao is and that I should come and visit. As if! Well, considering, I have never been there. In fact the farthest place I have been is Capiz during the National Red Cross Youth Camp in high school.

All I want is to find the “almost” perfect guy for me. Is that too much too ask? That is one of the reasons why I join those network slash friendship slash dating sites like guys4men.com or downelink.com. The selections are just too many and there are a lot of beautiful guys there. Well given that their pictures are really theirs. Most of them unfortunately does not want anything to do with me. Hayyy. Why is life like that? The people you want don’t want you back and the people you don’t want are the ones bugging you. Hmmm. One of the many ironies of life perhaps.

So here’s my plan as of the moment. I am gonna go out with a lot of guys, have sex with them hoping I don’t get deadly diseases of some sort and then make my choice if ever there’s someone worthy. The thing is, I could have sex with anyone or anybody even if I don’t really like them. Sexaholic, is this what they call it? Hahaha…

On Highschool and Sexcapades

Was on my days off and a lot happened. I met with Rus, Bern’s bestfriend and this guy from guys4men.com. Yes, I have recently made an account there, you know, to widen my scope… errr… market. Hahaha.

Is it just me or is the world about to end? Scary huh?

Anyways, did I say this post is gonna be non-sense? I dunno. Lately I have been doing a lot of stuff I could not even visit my blog.

Oh I almost forgot, I met up with some of HS classmates last Saturday night. Errr… actually it was more Sunday early morning. As soon as I got off from my shift I headed to Bustillos and met my friend Mark (the accountant) and Cathy at 7-11. It was Lee’s blowout-slash-birthday party. He recently passed the board. Lucky him. Well I kinda envy him. You know the feeling where you are left behind? Yeah. Before I went to the party I was really thinking about it. About my future, about meeting my highschool classmates after almost 4years. Yes, I have been out of the circulation that long. I was so busy with college and eventually with work that minggling with my HS classmates wasn’t an option. Plus I don’t have their contacts.

When I got to Cherry Bhe’s apartment (where the party was being held) I was suddenly flushed back to the past. There they were, my classmates, some I considered my friends (notice the –ed in consider?). As soon as I sat down, Denfield offered me a glass (it was a plastic cup actually/some things never change) of Red Horse with no ice. I requested for ice and they started teasing me about how different I was and how “up there” I was. Totally a LIE. I was not up there! I AM not up there! Well I must admit, I looked shit in high school. The truth is I was a bit nervous when I met them. It must be because I didn’t know how to react, how to say “hi” or “hello.” But I got the hang of it and eventually minggled, but with reservations of course.

The guy I used to have a crush with in HS and in early college was there as well. Yes, something happened between us, twice. He is straight though. Yeah this guy's for real. Trust me. And I am not telling who he is. Some of my HS friends are reading my blog. Hi Mark!

Mark, Douglas (who now goes by the name of Ashley) and I went home around 6am. Douglas went to a separate direction and Mark and I went to Espana where I was supposedly to hail a cab. Mark crossed and wne home. I waited for an empty cab, half-asleep puffing the cigarette Cherry Bhe gave me. To make things worse, the rain started pouring. Suddenly there was this guy in green jacket sitting beside me and I asked if he had a light. He offered and then started a conversation. He asked where I was going, I simply said home. Then he asked if I wanted to stay in his friend’s pad for a while and simply said no. then he offered that I could ride along in his friend’s car since they’re going to his pad in Visayas avenue and I was an avenue away. After many pleas, I finally said yes and went in his friend’s car. I immediately fell asleep and when I awoke we were in QC Circle. I told them to drop me off there. From there I took a cab home. Weird, really. That was my first time.

The Pokpok in me. Wahehehe.

Rus and I watched Nacho Libre last Monday at Gateway. He was okay but not really the can-you-be-my-bf type. We agreed to take it slow. Probably he feels the same way about me. Hahaha. But I am not affected. As usual, I made my famous sorry-I-am-not-yet-over-with-my-previous-bf line. And it worked! Bern was telling me to take care of his bestfriend as well. It’s not like we’re together or anything, right?

After the seeing Rus at Gateway I headed home and fixed myself for another getaway in the far place of Monumento. Hahaha. I met Dino at guys4men.com and he had been inviting me to his place since Sunday. I kinda said I’d go there last Sunday but since I was really tired from work and the rain was so hard I decided to cancel. But last Monday night I had no reason to decline. Of course there’s the bad weather but I was horny as well and I was up for some drinking. So I went there amidst the really really bad weather and my feet soaking in some dirty and filthy flood water. I met him and his other friend and this guy from Baguio who was wasted inside Dino’s room with Dino’s housemate hugging him. Hahaha. Of course, needless to say, Dino and I had sex. It wasn’t until the following morning that I saw the guy from Baguio. Name’s Marco if I remember it correctly and he was so fucking CUTE! Just my type. Tall, chinito, lean and really hadnsome. Unfortunately, Dino’s friend was all over him so I was not able to make a move. I didn’t even get his phone number. Lame. I was really disappointed. Good thing Takeshi (remember the Japanese guy?) kept me company through texting. Yes, he finally knows who I am and he said I was suplado the first time we’ve met. He also asked me about my boyfriend. And then I remembered. During Rocky’s bday party he asked me if I was with someone and instantly said yes. It was like saying, “Back off!” I cleared things out and said I am very available. Hahaha.

Went home around 10pm last night, had phone sex with a couple of guys and enjoyed the rainy and cold weather. Jannah was, as usual, on top of me while I cover myself in blanket.

I’ll be posting some pics soon. Watch out!

Am I such a horny bastard? What do you think?

Going Straight?

There comes in a gay’s life, like mine, when relationships just don’t work out. I have had 10 boyfriends, and though I can say I have been true and faithful to most of them, the fact still remains that gays tend to be polygamous. It’s like going to a shopping spree with lots of choices. When you decide to pick an item and is about to pay for it, you’d see another item which you think is better, thus you leave the first item somewhere and go for the better one. Or so you think.

Ain't this sweet?

Last night I had a really nice conversation with Mark. He is 22 and he is straight. He sounded really nice. According to him, he is 5 foot 4 inches tall, with fair complexion and with chinky eyes. The part where he said he had chinky eyes, got me. I remembered one of my ex boyfriends told me a few days back that he know prefers to have a relationship with straight guys. Of course, if the relationship is going to be purely financial then drop the guy ASAP. I am talking about real love. He makes sense actually. At least with straight guys, there is a slim chance, if none that he’d look for another gay guy. That is if he really loves you. And straight guys tend to be more loyal than gay guys. I am sure you’d agree. I even agree myself.

We talked for hours last night. Well it was more during the wee hours of morning. I got home from work around 1am and I called him as soon as I laid myself in bed. His number was given to him by his supposedly friend whom was my textmate. I don’t know his real name though. All I know is that he lives in Pasig. He texted me Mark’s number asking me to call the number for Mark needed someone to talk to.

The conversation went from his relationships to my ex-boyfriends. He was funny, witty and open-minded though he never had any relationship with gay guy. But he did mention that he had a sexual experience with a gay guy when he was in high school. The gay guy was a hairstylist from a parlor where he had his haircut.

We also smoke the same brand. The conversation ended to SOP. Hahaha. I think he liked it. He even said he’s really like it if it were real.

But I am holding my horses. I still think I am not ready to be in a relationship as of the moment. He could be a fuck though. Let’s see. More of him next time. By the way, he said he had a fat dick. Awwww!

New Haircut and New Everything Else

I am back!
I know I have been saying that these past few weeks but I’ve been so busy with work and with other stuff lately. But no worries, I am back to my usual schedule and I’ll make sure to blog everyday so you won’t miss me that much. Or did you?!

This post is gonna be pictures galore!!!

Anyways, I have been on leave since Thursday last week and then on days off last Monday to Tuesday. But I am going to work today. Shift starts 3pm.

Tueday (Last Week)
I met John (not his real name). He had been in a seminary for the last five years and then decided to come out from the church ceiling of Michael Angelo’s magnificent paintings. We watched “See No Evil” at Gateway and then had dinner at Tokyo Tokyo. I have his pics but sue to the circumstance of his being (gay) I am not going to show it here. So we got it going on inside the cinema. His hand inside my pants and mine inside his. Of course we did not finish there. Oh no, the movie was fine, it’s just that we were just a couple of horny bastards. After the movie we had dinner at Tokyo Tokyo and afterwhich we headed to Eastwood for I have work that night. We took a cab and on the cab I started giving him head and took pics of his dick. Oh boy, was it HUGE! Hahaha. I am not posting that either.

Friday (Last Week)
Second day of my leave. I met Dave at Gateway and headed to Megamall to see Xander and his new boyfriend (not my type, again). We had lunch at Sbarro and had coffee after at Starbucks.

Dave and I watched Pirates of the Carribean after while the two lovebirds went to some arcade (totally not my thing).

Love the movie though I can't seem to remember the previous one. Or have I watched it?

After the movie I went straight to SM North in hope to have my hair done. But FIX was crowded so I decided to check some stores. And low and behold, the cutest pants ever from OXYGEN. Much like the one at Whoops I’ve been wanting buy, only this cost like a couple of hundred less. I tried it on along with a polo shirt and woalla! The next thing I knew I was paying for it at the cashier. The spender in me.

Saturday (Last week)
It’s Rocky’s birthday. I did my shopping in the morning. Met up with Aphol at Glorietta 4. The original plan was I would have my haircut there but the line was just so long at Fix that I had to have my haircut at some barbershop near the house. Anwyays, while I was waiting for Aphol who was, as usual, late, I did some window shopping at Vurve, Hallway and Structure. And guess what? The window shopping ended up to actual SHOPPING. The signage SALE was just so unbearable I had to grab a few stuff. I ended up buying this polo from Vurve and a jacket from Hallway. Went to SM North after and bought socks at Human.

I met Dion around 6pm at Starbucks SM North and then we waited from Aldrin and his new boylet. The new boylet ain’t bad but totally not my type. Aldrin is sure safe from me. Hahaha. As soon as Aldrin arrived, we headed to Rocky’s place. We were dead hungry that time and on the way I was already imagining menudo and ice cream etc. Hallelujah! MENUDO indeed! That day before, I told Rocky I wasn’t going. Some kinda surprise and he was sure surprised to see. He was still as cute as he was the first time I met him. too and we became friends. You see, friends don’t fuck with each other. Uhmmm well, sometimes they do too. Depends really... Wehehehe…

A few more hours passed and the rest of Rocky’s friends (my friends as well) arrived and with them Takeshi, the new apple of my eyes I am so ready to bite. Grrr... I’ve known him for like a year but it was only that night that I saw his cuteness. Plus, he is singkit.

Went home around 5 in the morning and slept the whole of Sunday. Monday night I was with some guy at his house downloading mp3s to my phone… and something else. Hahaha. Spent the whole Tuesday at home, rented vcds (which btw is already overdue) and snuggled in bed with Janah.

Anyways, here are more of my pictures taken while I was away. And I took photos of me wearing pink too so you can tell if pink is my color. I think someone asked me to do this. Forgot who he was though.

Me in BLUE!

Hope you like me pics! More coming soon!

A Night It Was!

I have just made the stupidest thing for my career. I am talking about work here, not the usual karir me and my friends always talk about. It was Khyn’s birthday last night. She is this officemate of mine who just resigned from work ‘cause she’ll be going to the US this August (I think). Since my shift starts at 11pm, I decided to drop by with my office mates to her house in Taguig. I didn’t plan to stay there long especially didn’t plan to drink beer and vodka. I got work. But upon seeing the place, the lights, hearing the music, tasting the food, seeing the videoke machine, seeing bottles after bottles of beer, everything changed. I wanted to be absent from work. I knew what kind of party I was gonna miss. I immediately texted my TL (supervisor) if she’ll let me be absent last night and she replied negatively. She said It’s not worth it. Think it through and stuff. But the peer pressure got me and personally, I didn’t want to leave. I finally decided not to go to work and make it somewhat valid, I got a couple of beers. You see, being caught drinking before shift is strictly prohibited and could cause your termination from work. Hahaha.

I knew my TL would be there so I was really guilty of what I did. But I was enjoying so much. After a few more bottles of beer, the rest of the people arrived. Khyn’s friends and more officemates.

When TL saw me, she approached me and said “Okay tayo tonight pero we need to talk tomorrow.” She’s be issuing me a CITE level two. This means I will not be promoted in six months. Not that I care about it. With my current stats right now, promotion is just next to impossible. I told her that. But I was guilty, really guilty at the same time. I know she wanted me to be promoted and she takes care of my stats as well. But having two more splits makes it just really really hard to get promoted.

The FUN and JUICY Part
My head ached the whole time. Must be the beer. I think I had too many. There was this guy from the next table who I caught looking at me several times. I didn’t mind. I thought maybe he liked my jacket. (Remember the one from Hallway I bought for the White Party? That one) Hahaha.

So I didn’t have anymore cigs so I gathered up myself and asked one from the group of straight guys just behind him. Then as one of the guys give a stick, he offered saying “Kuya, ito na lang…” But it was too late so I got the one the straight guy offered. I said thanks to him anyway. Good thing Mark came and got the cig from him. At least he’s move did not go down the drain, if you get my drift.

When I got out of the restroom, Kathy and I sat on the sofa near where the guy was seated. Then he said, “Kuya, inom ka oh!” Another offer but this time I didn’t have the guts to say “No, thanks.” He asked me to seat beside him, gave me a cig and a bottle of Red Horse. He also lighted my cig for me. Sweetness. But I still had my composure not letting him know I was liking what he was doing. Then his hand touched my left leg and then he looked at me. I think he winked at me too. I didn’t mind it and I continued puffing my cig and drinking my beer while listening to some mp3s in my phone. I was also waiting for the rest of the guys to go out the restroom since I really wanted to go home. One of my friends was puking from drinking too much so we had to wait for her. When they went out the house, I said my goodbyes to the guy. He asked me for my name and he gave me his. He also said I should save his number which I did. His name was John, one of Khyn’s family friends.

As soon as we were to enter the car, one of my friend’s started to puke inside which made my tummy turn. That caused delay and I had to go back to the restroom. Fortunately I did not puke. When I came out, I saw John sitting on the sofa and he asked me to be with him. Khyn was having a breakdown outside and did not want us to leave. Delay again. So I stayed with him inside Khyn’s room. He got my hand and put it above his crotch. He sighed and opened his zip and let out his cock. He asked me to give him a head, which I did. Inside the room was his girl friend who was sleeping. The lights were on and the door was open. I got afraid that someone might catch us so I got up and went back outside. A lot happened. My TL’s phone got lost, Khyn’s was crying feeling guilty for the loss while the rest was trying to comfort her while others were looking for the phone. John then texted me asking me to come back. I did. I turned off the lights and we tried to finish what we started. But Khyn’s big brother went in and fortunately we were not caught. Khyn’s brother just turned on the AC and then left. So we were back to what we were doing. He finished inside my mouth which left me puking inside the restroom. Good thing I wasn’t able to swallow it. Eww! Disgusting!

I didn’t come back to the room after. I headed directly outside. After an hour or so, everyone decided to leave, finally. Got home around 6 in the morning.

What a night!

On Death, Shopping and EXs

First of all I would like to send my condolences for my ”friend’s” family. My friend’s father passed away last July 01 due to some lung complications. I was there for two straight nights eating butong pakwan and on the second night had three bottles of beer while my friend’s friends grill me with questions about me and my “friend.” Wahehehe.

Anyways, I met Ryan, one of my ex boyfriends, at Bo’s last Wednesday. We had coffee and went shopping. Folded and Hung (F&H) had a sale and I bought this pink tee 10% off from it’s original price. I am wearing it right now actually.

The shopping was actually just a spur of the moment. I wanted to show him the pants from Whoops .which costs like more than Php 2,000 and this jacket which costs just around that amount as well. I am planning to buy them next week and I wanted his second opinion. He liked them and I feel in love with them. I just wasn’t sure I wanted to spend that much for two items when I could go to Greenhills and buy so much more with the same amount. Hayyy… Good thing I did not carry that much cash when I first went there.

So we roamed the other clothings shops and that was how we ended up at F&H. He helped me fit the tee on and we decided to go with the extra small. Hahaha.

Afterwhich we had coffee again at Coffee X and stayed there until around 9pm. We decided to go to Palawan Grill in Cubao with Lexan who was inviting me to go with him there. Lexan wanted to check the place out since he had never been there. I had been there once and did not stay long. The place was just plain scary. And the restrooms? ewww. But I heard they had a renovation of the place so I finally agreed to go. And I was hoping I’d see Robbie there. I heard he frequents the place. I miss him so much. No, I miss him terribly. He is still the love of my life and I can’t let go.

Before Ryan and I went there, we had dinner at Dencio’s Cubao. We had pork sisig and stayed there until around 10pm. We met Lexan on our way to Palawan Grill.

But I was disappointed to know Robbie wasn’t there. So I just played with my phone’s bluetooth over bottles and bottles of beer… and an often visit to the washroom. Still the same though… ewww…

After Palawan, I brought Ryan back to his place and headed to my “friend’s” house since he asked me to meet him. I didn’t know what happened and I was half-hoping I’d get a fuck. He picked me up at Burger Machine and we headed to this church. Along the way he told me the news. His father died. I felt terrible of thinking I’d have sex that night. I was so guilty. And to think, I actually like this “friend” of mine.

And oh, I almost forgot, my dad and mom are here again. Some school stuff. And mom is kinda disappointed I didn’t stay home on my days off. I am such a bad son. Hayyy. Don’t get me wrong though. I so love ‘em both.

So Much for The Drifters

I was able to watch Superman Returns and Tokyo Drift last Friday and I was not at all satisfied with the movies. But first, here’s a spoiler: Superman has a son. Hahaha.

What would the movie do without Brandon Routh. He's just uber cuteness!!! And there's rumor spreading that he's gay. Read this article. And by the way, you'd be surprised to know that he's nickname is BJ. I would love to try that. Hahahaha...

He's not Paul Walker. This lad here is Lucas Black. He doesn't know how to act. Trust me. And he's southern accent does not suit him. Tokyo Drift drifted six feet under... No rumors about this guy. Not at all interested!

I don’t know. Superman was kinda dragging and the story was so simple. It’s like it was taken from one of the episodes in Smallville. And Lex Luther wasn’t that effective an antagonist. They did not divert from the original score though as well the kind of fonts used for the credits in the introduction. But one this is for sure though, the guy who played Superman is soooo fucking fuckable. Hayyy… Besides checking his butt and front bulge, I did not enjoy the movie at all.

The Fast and the Furious Tokyo Drift. It’s a disaster. The actor doesn’t know how to act. And he’s too old and buffy (not to mention his receding hairline) for a high school student. And the other actors were really bad. And the girls in Tokyo were like so obsessed with their phones. The movie was just a mess. The script was bad, the actors were terrible and the story was as bad. Argh! The cars were nice though.

I watched Superman alone and Tokyo Drift with Erwin at SM North Edsa which I think is overpriced as well.

Click here to go to his website...

Moving on, I spoke with Homer the other day and he was referring me this pinoy website http://www.kuazee.com/. He says the 24-year old author resigned from work just to focus on his ideal. I have never seen anybody as dedicated as that. I mean to quit your job which pays you $1000 a month? Wheew! I could never exchange that for my ideal. Well who cares anyways?

Anyways, I think it’s a nice website. I listened to one of his podcasts that automatically plays when you visit his site and he’s really funny and witty and imaginative. And it’s pure pinoy so if you’ve got nothing better to do, instead of visiting the Britney Spears website to check if she has gone fatter (‘coz it makes us feel better), I’d strongly suggest that you visit him. Let’s support our own!

---
For Rob – I am really sorry baby for not being able to visit your site. I am just so busy and when I am at work I don’t have the time and the extra PC to do my surfing. Since there are a lot of calls during graveyard and there are many agents as well as compared to my previous shift which was midshift (3pm-12am). This goes out to all of you guys, gals and the in-betweens as well. I am really sorry. But I promise to try to visit your sites soon. Hope you won’t stop supporting and visiting my blog under the circumstances. I love you all. Mwah!

---
[update 7:30am]
My God! Am I lucky or what? I saw my crush from Sitel when I took my lunch earlier and during my last break we were in the same elevator. And he looked at me thrice!!! Hayyy... He is soooo cute! I'll try to steal a picture of him using my camphone and post it here for you guys to see. Hahaha...

Stalker!!!